No Defendant Wanted to Face the Music

An item here mentioned the Midwest judge who sentenced violators of noise ordinances to listen to the likes of Wayne Newton, John Denver, Roy Rogers, etc.

Well, it turns out that back in the 1960s, Harry T. Shafer, then a municipal judge in Compton, would occasionally offer a defendant the option of several hours listening to Lawrence Welk instead of a brief jail sentence.

No defendant ever went the champagne music route.

Of course, says Shafer, a retired Superior Court judge, he was only kidding about the Welk option.

“That would have been cruel and unusual punishment,” he explained.

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THE HOLLYWOOD ANGELS: Later, on Superior Court, Shafer was sometimes called the “Judge to the Stars” for all the celebrity divorces he handled. In fact, he holds the record for presiding over the most dissolved marriages involving members of TV’s “Charlie’s Angels” cast--those of Cheryl Ladd, Kate Jackson and Farrah Fawcett.

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TAKING THE LOW ROAD: Some L.A. car culture items I’ve been collecting for a while (see accompanying) include a very expensive door spotted by Jonathan Gest (at least they could give you a pair), an undertaker’s Volvo noticed by Linda Reynolds and a title problem snapped by Jay Berman.

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ROAST ZEV: County Supervisor Zev Yaroslavsky will face a verbal firing squad Wednesday night at the Beverly Hilton Hotel during the second annual Los Angeles Political Roast to raise funds for the American Diabetes Assn.

He better wear a barb-proof vest, judging from the shots aimed at City Council President John Ferraro at last year’s affair. “It’s great to be here to roast John,” Mayor Richard Riordan said on that occasion, “because he doesn’t mind when people tell lies about him. It’s the truth he doesn’t like to hear.”

Tickets are $300 per person (information: (323) 966-2890, Ext. 236). If you don’t mind, I’ll begin the roast of Yaroslavsky now. In 1989, he dropped out of the mayoral race against Tom Bradley because a staff survey revealed that many residents were unfamiliar with his name.

His spirits were later buoyed when members of a skating team from Moscow said that “Yaroslavsky” was very well known in Russia. It’s the name of a popular brand of cheese.

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DENTAL TIP: There’s a George Washington exhibit at the Huntington Library in San Marino, and my 6-year-old son, Jamie, was determined to see one item: the first president’s dentures. They’re made of human and cow teeth and ivory, not wood, by the way. An explanatory note quotes Vice President John Adams as saying that George’s tooth problems stemmed from the “cracking of walnuts in his youth.”

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WHAT’S NOT IN A NAME: On one-block-long Norse Way in Long Beach, you can find the following restaurants: Tiny Thai, L.V. Seafood (Chinese), New Miyako (Japanese) and Mediterranean Super Wings (Greek). What you won’t find on Norse Way is a Scandinavian eatery.

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SPEAKING OF CHINESE FOOD: Too bad young George Washington didn’t confine himself to walnut chicken.

miscelLAny:

Two days after I was interviewed on the morning drive segment of KABC-AM (790), I read that the station was replacing its morning drive anchors. Only in L.A.--ratings killer!

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.