A Classroom Key: How Students Treat Each Other

Every year, teachers are asked to provide a list of “classroom expectations” for students and parents. Typically, these include grading policy, the amount of homework assigned, how late work is handled and what constitutes appropriate classroom behavior.

Behavior issues cover such things as gum-chewing, eating in class, putting covers on textbooks, bringing supplies each day and not talking while the teacher is talking. They’re mundane but necessary guidelines that contribute to a smooth-running program.

But there is another aspect of behavior that cuts to the heart of a class: how students behave toward one another.

Unfortunately, from conversations with colleagues and students, it is clear to me that far too many teachers do not take a strong stand against put-downs and harassment. While a few teachers are oblivious to what is going on in their classrooms or even harass students themselves, most will confront a derogatory comment if it happens during the course of instruction. Too often, though, they will ignore the homophobic dig or racist joke if class is not in session.

But it is during these informal times, as students are entering class or moving to a new activity, that the worst harassment often occurs. Teachers may not want to take responsibility for student behavior outside of class time, but it’s still their classroom and they’re responsible for everything that occurs on their watch. When it becomes clear that those in charge will conveniently turn a deaf ear, hurtful behavior has been given free rein.

So despite strict guidelines, students are still being harassed about their race, their sexual orientation or the simple fact that they are male or female. They are also subject to put-downs about their accent, their clothing, their name, their religious beliefs (or lack thereof), their weight, their hairstyle and their musical taste. They are teased because they are seen as too dumb or too smart.

It’s a wonder these kids continue to put themselves on the line. They will almost never complain about, or “rat” on, their oppressors because it is not only uncool, it will simply bring them more grief. Some will quietly take it and then explode, but most will suffer in silence. Thus it is up to the teacher to serve as an advocate for these students by taking a stand and doing everything possible to create a harassment-free zone.

I am not suggesting that teachers can protect kids from all the cruel things that can happen at school, but they represent the first line of defense. Along with district or school policies, each instructor should make a point of setting guidelines as to how students treat each other. Along with a notebook, how about bringing an open mind to class?

If a teacher demands that students relate to each other with respect, and there are consequences if they do not, a more humane classroom atmosphere is inevitably created.

To ensure a kind and nurturing classroom requires some extraordinary talent on the part of the teacher. It means being very aware of what occurs in the classroom, including students’ casual interactions before and after class is in session. It means picking up subtle facial expressions and body language. It means paying attention to the informal structure of the class, as well as the formal.

It particularly means confronting a student about an inappropriate comment or gesture. This is uncomfortable, it takes time, and chances are the student being “nailed” is not going to like it. But without follow-through and consequences, demands for tolerance will not be taken seriously.

Students who harass others will often try to get out of it by using the old rationalization, “But I was just kidding.” Offenders also will insist others are being overly sensitive or unable to take a joke. Those excuses don’t work. It is not being too sensitive to acknowledge a Jewish student’s discomfort with digs about Hanukkah; calling someone a “fag” is not funny.

I have also had students inform me that their teasing “doesn’t bother Wes, so what’s the big deal?” I reply, “It bothers me.”

Yes, there is a lot of eye-rolling, but the teasing stops. It’s never too early to demand decency. A mean, obnoxious 14-year-old, left unchecked, grows up to be a mean, obnoxious 40-year-old.

Let’s not limit our academic expectations to good attendance, no gum-chewing and bringing supplies to class. A punctual student with his books covered is not succeeding as a member of the school community if he smirks when an immigrant student in his chemistry class tries to speak English.

It is in the interest of everyone to insist on kindness and tolerance among our students. To allow any student to suffer if that suffering can be prevented is morally wrong. Growing up is never going to be easy. But with supportive teachers on the lookout, it can be a lot less painful.

Christine Baron is a high school English teacher in Orange County. You can reach her at educ@latimes.com or (714) 966-4550.