A Flush-Off With Words of Wisdom
Among the contestants impersonating a flushing toilet, he wasn’t the most believable. But Bill Perron of El Monte was given a $250 third prize for creativity in the recent Fluidmaster Flush-Off in San Juan Capistrano.
The judges were impressed that after Perron finished his rendition, he affixed a faucet to his head. Then he turned on the faucet, whereupon a small stream of water escaped.
And Perron said, “Don’t forget to wash your hands.”
FREEWAY READING: Thank goodness for vanity plates--how else would we wile away the hours sitting in traffic if we didn’t have these enigmatic messages to try to decipher? Here are some featured on KNX radio’s Web site:
* H20MEN4, Nancy Panaro, Baker, La.: She explained that it means, “What are men for? (H20 is water, get it?). “I love asking this question,” she added.
* LVRMDLY, JCarin DeMartino, Irvine: “I am a huge fan of the Doors and I wanted to quote from the song, ‘Love Her Madly.’ ”
* NOO WHEY, Sharon Howell, Corona: “I am unable to digest any and all dairy products, including products that contain whey. Also, in between the time my truck was stolen and later found, my friends thought I should accept a settlement from the insurance company but I said, ‘No way.’ ”
* USEATSU, Mike Conley, West Hills: “One day, while stopped at a traffic light, I saw a man picking his nose and yelled out, ‘Use a tissue.’ That gave me the idea for this plate.”
* OICURMT, Bob Sohl, Santa Cruz: “ ‘Oh, I see you are empty.’ This is about my checkbook at the end of the month.”
LETTER IMPERFECT: The great thing about travel is how broadening the experience can be. For instance, Irwin Rosten of L.A. noticed that a sign in his hotel room taught him how to say “distrub” [sic] in three other languages (see accompanying).
L.A.--IT’S EVERYWHERE! (CONT.): After an item here about readers who reported seeing Hotel Californias in Vancouver, Berlin and Pisa, Phyllis Cardoza wrote:
“There is also a Hotel California in Malaga on the Costa del Sol in Spain. It’s just up the road from the Hotel Malibu (in an area that really does look like Malibu--same weather, plants and soil as our Malibu).”
Like Malibu, the Costa del Sol is pretty costly, too.
NOT EXACTLY THE MIRACLE MILE: Meanwhile, Ed Cavaness of Santa Monica came upon a stretch of Wilshire Boulevard where the traffic is light and there’s plenty of parking, though the shopping possibilities seem limited.
He found it in Arizona. (See photo.)
QUESTION OF THE DAY: A resident called Paramount City Hall and asked if anyone knew how much blood the human body holds.
I can’t remember the answer, but I follow Woody Allen’s credo about keeping as much of it inside the body as possible.
miscelLAny:
After an inquiry by Councilwoman Laura Chick, tekkies at L.A. City Hall said the council’s meetings could be shown live via the Internet. The council may vote soon on whether to open this line of communication.
Flush.
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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at ( 800) LATIMES (Ext. 77083), by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@ latimes.com.