‘Big Brother’ Assumes a New Role: Father

He had to get a state law changed to do it, but John Sias has no qualms about becoming a father again at age 69.

“I now have a son,” he said with a mixture of relief and joy in his voice.

But the proud father wasn’t in a hospital maternity ward; he was in a courtroom. And his new son isn’t a newborn. He’s 25 years old.

Sixteen years after Sias met Chris McMullen through Nashua’s Big Brother organization, the pair have finally made legal what they have long known: They belong together.

Although it took more than a year of work to make McMullen’s adoption possible, the final chapter was surprisingly brief.

Judge Raymond Cloutier handed McMullen the adoption certificate to sign and offered a few words of congratulations. McMullen’s family, old and new, cheered.

“I think this is a very joyful occasion for all of you,” the judge said. “It’s my privilege and honor to make it final.”

The celebration that followed also was low-key--coffee at a nearby shop. The family already had celebrated with a party and presents 18 months ago, when they thought the adoption would be quick and easy. It wasn’t.

Two days after their earlier party, Sias and McMullen went to court, only to be told that New Hampshire law would not allow the adoption unless Sias’ wife also adopted McMullen, effectively eliminating his biological mother.

The group had three choices: give up, appeal to the state Supreme Court or go the Legislature, Sias said.

“We went to the Legislature. We didn’t give up,” he said.

They turned to state Sen. Jim Squires, who sponsored a bill to change the law. The new law allows someone to adopt independent of a spouse if the spouse agrees and the person being adopted is 18 or older.

“It just makes it that much sweeter that we had to jump through some hoops,” McMullen said. “This was an emotional issue, to have our relationship recognized by the state. It’s like an exclamation point on our great father-son relationship.”

When that relationship started, McMullen was a perfect candidate for the program that pairs volunteers with children from single-parent homes. The 9-year-old hadn’t heard from his father in four years and was doing poorly in school.

His first visit with Sias, a quick outing to an ice cream shop, was a success.

“They hit it off immediately,” recalls Sharon Erikson, McMullen’s mother. “Chris came home and said, ‘I like him.’ ”

It took some time for McMullen to trust his new friend, however.

“Chris, because of his relationship with my ex-husband, was very timid,” his mother said. “If John was one minute late, Chris was in tears.”

The two were soon inseparable. Over the years, Sias helped McMullen with everything from baseball to college tuition.

The frequent phone calls and activities such as camping, sailing, skiing and hiking continued even after McMullen’s mother remarried.

On one recent night, the pair was on their way home from the Siases’ camp on Lake Ossippee when they passed a familiar baseball field.

“When I was 9 or 10 we kept baseballs, bats and gloves in the car. We’d see that field, pull off and play,” McMullen said.

“I know that if I hadn’t had the relationship I did, and do, I would’ve never had that exposure, I would’ve never had that feeling of just utter joy--seeing a baseball field and saying, ‘Hey, let’s stop,’ and actually stopping.”

Sias, who has two daughters, always wanted a son.

“If he had a biological son and could describe him, Chris would be it,” said Sias’ wife, Marie.

She admits, however, that explaining the new relationships will be a challenge.

“What’s John’s relationship to Sharon? What’s my relationship to Chris?” she said, laughing.

But at least two of those involved won’t have any trouble. Sias and McMullen have been calling each other “son” and “Dad” for years.

“As long as I’ve known him, he’s been a father in every way except biologically and legally,” McMullen said.

Judge Cloutier said he was glad to change that. “With the ever-changing fluidity of society, these laws have to be reexamined,” he said. “For them, this is very, very important. Their lives will be forever enriched by this.”