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LAUGH LINES

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The Race for the Oval Office: John McCain and Al Gore served in Vietnam. “McCain was a POW after he was badly wounded when his fighter jet was shot down. Gore was an Army journalist who once suffered a severe case of writer’s block.” (Alex Kaseberg)

The Race, Part 2: President Clinton commemorated Veterans Day at Arlington National Cemetery. “Or as John McCain calls it, ‘the set.’ ” (Daily Scoop)

American History: “One of America’s most venerable auto brands, Plymouth, will be relegated to the scrap heap after 2001. Henceforth, history will note that the Pilgrims landed at DaimlerChrysler Rock.” (Bob Mills)

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The Essential

David Letterman

Top Chapter Titles in

George W. Bush’s Autobiography

10. “ ‘Nice to See You Too’: Things to Say to a World Leader Whose Name You Can’t Remember”

5. “Ideas: I’ll Have Some by the End of My Second Term”

4. “Growing Up With a Mother Who Looks Like That Quaker Oats Guy”

1. “Yee Haw! I’s Gonna Be Pars’dent!”

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.

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