Nut Loaf

Annette, who has spent most of her adult life in California, moves back to Pennsylvania, where she was born. She is charmed when a new neighbor brings over a freshly made home-baked warm nut loaf still in its pan.

Her family devours it, and later Annette returns the cake tin with a thank you note inside expressing her gratitude for the unexpected hospitality. When Annette’s mother, a Pennsylvanian, hears of this, she scolds her daughter.

What went wrong?

According to local tradition, Annette should have returned the cake loaf tin filled with something she had baked. This would have been a more acceptable form of reciprocity. Returning it empty was a social slight.

The same custom prevails in Hawaii. Thought to have been borrowed from the Koreans and Japanese living there, custom dictates that when you return a plate or dish that has contained a gift of food, it must never be returned empty.

Likewise, if you send a gift for a new baby to a Japanese Hawaiian family, you may receive a gift in return. Chinese Hawaiian families may also acknowledge gifts for new babies by sending food packages back to the donors. Samoans have something similar. They call it sua, a thank you for the gift.