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LAUGH LINES

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Oh, Rats!: “Mayor Rudy Giuliani has announced an unprecedented effort to deal with N.Y.’s runaway rat problem. Until now, politicians in New York have opted not to kill rats, out of professional courtesy--you don’t kill your own species.” (Phil Perrier)

Unfinished Business: “Joe Lieberman called the voting recount in Florida ‘incomplete.’ In response, George W. Bush said: ‘What’s wrong with “incomplete”? That was my best grade in college.’ ” (Conan O’Brien)

Briefly Speaking: “The White House is giving George W. Bush daily briefs. In fact, when he first heard the news, Bush said: ‘To be honest, I’m more of a boxers guy.’ ” (Andrew Wisot)

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Open Invitation: “The new president of Mexico, Vicente Fox, says he wants more open borders with the U.S. More open borders? What does he want--a moving walkway like Disneyland? Maybe escalators? . . . Could it be any easier to get into [the U.S.]!” (Jay Leno)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.

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