Staying Connected

If you’re hard of hearing--or talking to someone who is--following these tips from hearing experts will help conversations flow more smoothly.

If You’re Hard of Hearing

* Have regular hearing exams.

* Educate yourself about the many hearing devices and services available to the hearing impaired.

* Attend a coping-skills/lip-reading class and encourage your family members to go, too.

* If you can’t understand someone, explain that you have a hearing loss and politely let them know how best to communicate with you.

* When you would like someone to change their behavior--to stop calling you from the next room, for instance--frame your request in a positive manner. (“It really helps me when you talk to me from the same room” is likely to get better results than an angry, “You know I can’t hear you when you yell from the other room!”)

* Try not to bluff or pretend you’ve heard something when you haven’t.

* Take responsibility for yourself: Don’t lean too heavily on others for interpretation.

* Whenever possible, place yourself in surroundings that help your hearing. Dim light, rooms with lots of echo-creating glass and tile, and noisy restaurants are a detriment. Quiet, bright light and echo-muffling rugs and curtains will help.

* Even in the heat of an argument, don’t use your deafness as a weapon by turning off your hearing aid or averting your eyes so you can’t see what someone’s saying.

* Seek out help through support groups, hard-of-hearing friends or the Internet.

* Remember: Hearing loss can be isolating, and it affects the lives of your friends and family too. Often, people simply don’t know what to do to help. Let them know. Do what you can to keep the lines of communication open.

If You’re Talking to Someone Who’s Hard of Hearing

* Make sure you’ve got the person’s attention before talking. Say his or her name or give a light tap on the shoulder.

* A conversation is easier to follow if the person knows the topic or context at the start--for example, with something like, “I was thinking about Aunt Millie’s wedding.” * Hard-of-hearing people rely a lot on reading lips. Position yourself so your face is visible and well-lighted. (If the light’s behind you, your face will be in shadow.) * Don’t talk while smoking, drinking or eating. It distorts your lips and makes lip-reading hard.

* Speak louder, without shouting, and without dropping volume at the end of a sentence. Speak slowly but naturally, because exaggerated speech distorts the shape of your lips.

* If you’re asked to repeat yourself, don’t get irritated or say “never mind.” Calmly repeat what you said. If you’re still not understood, try rephrasing.

* Avoid calling from other rooms, talking with your back turned or speaking in front of noisy appliances or faucets.

* Educate yourself about your loved one’s hearing loss; attend coping classes and support groups with them. * Remember that people hear less well when they’re fatigued or have a cold, that lip-reading is tiring and that hearing aids are just that--aids. They don’t restore hearing to normal.

* Keep in mind that the person to whom you are talking probably really wants to hear what you are saying.