Beyond the Cummerbund: Tips for the Modern Groom
How did men shift from merely buying the ring and showing up in a tuxedo to choosing vows, sampling reception menus, picking registry gifts and planning the honeymoon?
Perhaps, says the premier issue of For the Groom magazine, it’s because today’s grooms are more mature: In the early 1960s, the average groom was 22 and the bride was 20. Today, the average groom takes the plunge at 28 and the bride at 26. And 80% of the time, the couple is paying for part or all of the wedding, which makes the groom’s interest a more vested one.
But when it comes to planning a wedding and being a groom, most guys are clueless about anything beyond buying the ring and picking out the tuxedo. The following is a list of 10 things the groom should know, according to For the Groom:
* The four Cs are not a group of smiley guys in cardigans singing a capella, but rather the criteria used to judge a diamond’s quality: cut, color, clarity and carat.
* I’m with the band: Some wedding bands charge extra if they have to rent tuxedos, if they have to rehearse special songs, or if there’s significant travel involved. And most bands expect to be fed.
* Tux tip: Belly-endowed grooms can use the cover of a double-breasted design, while those with slimmer lines should stick with a single-breasted style.
* Why that finger?: We can thank the ancient Egyptians for where the wedding ring goes: fourth finger, left hand. They believed that a vein ran from that finger straight to the heart. And why rings at all? The circular shape represents eternity.
* Sex after vows? Maybe not, at least not on the Big Night of the Big Day. Studies show that about one-third of all newlyweds skip sex on their wedding night.
* Mother-in-law trouble: Guys who think “that woman” is going to cause trouble may have it all wrong. Studies reveal that the person most likely to bring up bad feelings for a young couple is his mom. The bride’s mother doesn’t see the husband as a rival for her affection, but the groom’s mother is likely to view the bride as a threat.
* Things could be worse: American grooms should be grateful. In Niger, a Wodaabe tribesman must dress as a woman to attract a bride. Cambodian grooms often meet their mates for the first time on the day they get married. And right after Javanese newlyweds say “I do,” they will spend three days apart in spiritual cleansing.
* Register in your underwear: There is no need to trudge through miles of aisles to sign up for your marriage wish list. With gift-registry and department-store Web sites popping up all over the Internet, an hour or so of surfing and clicking will make easy work of a tiresome job.
* Waiter be wear!: Long before the reception, grooms planning formal attire should tell the waiters to wear something different--or the groom and his groomsmen may risk being handed empty drink glasses.
* The new bachelor party? Many guys are opting for alternative low-key outings: camping, bowling, sky diving and weekend fly-fishing.
