The Roar of Grandparent Power

Probably the most famous grandmother in history is the one eaten by the wolf in the story of Little Red Riding Hood.

She was knitting doilies when the wolf broke into her cabin and devoured her lock, stock and sneakers.

The unfortunate woman was awaiting a visit by her granddaughter, Little Red, when the mean old wolf did her in. That, to me, is where the story breaks down.

No real granny would have allowed a wolf to come between her and her grandchild. A real granny would have fought the animal with such ferocity that he’d have gone howling off into the forest, never to be seen or heard from again.

Grandparents, you see, share a special bond with their grandchildren and would face down grizzlies in their defense. That’s why I suspect that not even a ruling from the highest court in the land would ever be able to keep them apart.

I mention this because the question of grandparents’ rights is now before the U.S. Supreme Court. At issue are state laws that allow them to go to court to seek visitation orders when the parents of a grandchild shut them out.

Those challenging the state laws say they violate parental rights and want the pro-grandparent laws thrown out. The likelihood is that the high court will do just that.

But then the court, like the wolf, will have to eat every grandparent in the country to make the decision work. God help them.

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I am not without prejudice in this matter. Four grandchildren grace my life and still fly into my arms when I see them, which is often. One of them, Travis, is 6 feet tall and when he flies into my arms it is with an impact that is memorable in more ways than one.

After picking myself up off the floor, I think how lucky I am to be regarded with such affection by them and how hard I would fight to see them if barriers, legal or otherwise, were placed between us.

I face no such problem and therefore don’t need a law to assure my visitation rights. But what if I did?

I’ve thought about that often since the issue came before the Supreme Court. I listened for what seemed hours one day to radio discussions of the matter and remember one man bitterly demanding, “If we allow grandparents rights, what next? Visitation rights for aunts, uncles and fairy godmothers?”

Ojai’s Dr. Arthur Kornhaber, president of the National Foundation for Grandparenting, dismisses such comparisons. There’s an emotional and spiritual bond between grandparents and grandchildren, he says, second only to that between parent and child. The bond doesn’t include fairy godmothers.

“It’s wrong to remove grandparents from a child’s life,” Kornhaber, a grandfather and child psychiatrist, adds. “No one has a right to rip another person’s heart out.”

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What it all boils down to is a question of rights versus rights in a battle defined by lawyers. So often lost in these hard, cold encounters are the softer elements of humanity.

We have come to a time in our history when what was once known as common sense has been replaced by the narrowest interpretation of writs and rules. We deny individuality for the sake of a grander vision and in the end achieve neither.

Having said that, I am not, trust me, advocating scrapping the Constitution. I’m only saying there are 60 million grandparents in this country, and the bond that exists between them and their grandchildren ought not to be ignored.

The state laws that would be overturned if the Supreme Court rules against them don’t guarantee visitation rights. They only guarantee the rights of grandparents to seek visitation rights. It’s an element of due process rooted in emotional attachments that transcend adjudication on any level.

Kornhaber, who has authored books on the subject, points out that grandparenting organizations have worked for 30 years on behalf of the “sacred bond.” The effort has resulted in laws in all of the states.

They need to be upheld, Kornhaber says, to manifest what kind of people we are in a divorce-riddled nation. “It’s not just for us,” he adds. “It’s for the children too.”

Perhaps the ultimate truth lies there. I keep thinking of Travis rushing into my arms, as both a little boy and now as a young man. I suspect that if a wolf ever did try to come between us, it would have to get by him first. I’m grateful for that.

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Al Martinez’s column appears Sundays and Wednesdays. He can be reached online at al.martinez@latimes.com.