Learning to Change While Her Life Is Changing

For all the dads who abandon their daughters, or are terribly confused by them, there are many “cool dads.” Alex Majchrowicz, an Olney, Md., economist, said he knows there are going to be some days when his daughter Marie, a senior, “is going to be Marie. It’s best to step back from her and not force the issue.”

He has had to learn to negotiate his daughter’s moods since his wife died in a car crash in 1996. His connection to Marie is strong because he has never stopped being involved, he said. Marie agreed, saying, “We have a pretty good relationship.”

Alex Majchrowicz coached Marie and the other girls on her basketball and softball teams until Marie was almost out of middle school. He cheered from the sidelines when she played junior varsity basketball in high school.

He took her shopping for clothes before she was driving. He remembers hanging out on the edges of the juniors department, which, he joked, always seemed to be next to women’s lingerie. He would stand around wondering “what Marie could do for half an hour in the juniors department.”

He attended to her world: going to high school football games and listening to alternative rock groups at a recent concert sponsored by a progressive radio station.

When she complained this spring that she couldn’t find a prom dress, he asked her to describe what she was looking for and, after a business appointment, stopped by a shopping center to browse. He came home, told her what he had found, and the two of them drove back to J.C. Penney, where she picked out her dress.

“If you stay involved, you don’t have that big separation,” Majchrowicz said. “As her life is changing, you are there and you can change along with her. I didn’t have the luxury of having her mother around, but I probably wouldn’t have left Marie up to her mom anyway.”