When It Comes to Women, He’s One of God’s Choosy People

Selective SWJM, 37, seeks SWJF, 27-38, for marriage, children, happily ever after.

Gary Davidson, the 37-year-old unmarried rabbi of Temple Beth Shalom in Long Beach, could have taken out a personal ad to aid his quest for a mate. But chances are being chosen for People magazine’s list of 100 most eligible bachelors in America will prove to be a more effective way of attracting women.

“Whether this works out for me, in terms of finding my soul mate, who knows?” Davidson said. “It still is the thrill of a lifetime. I am so honored to be included.”

The magazine’s list includes a number of the usual celebrity suspects: George Clooney, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Julio Iglesias Jr. and athletes Derek Jeter and Mark McGwire. People’s search team also scoured the country for regular guys and came up with a farmer, tai chi expert, doctors, bankers and a cowboy.

Obviously, rich, famous and handsome weren’t the only criteria for eligibility. If People was striving for variety, they got more than an unusual profession with Davidson. At 6-foot-6 (and 275 pounds), he also ensures that tall women who prefer even taller men will find someone they might want to meet. (Readers can send e-mail to any of the 100 most eligible through People’s Web site.)

“I think I was picked because I’m a good man,” Davidson said. “What I have that makes me special is a very big heart and a good head on my shoulders.”

Davidson’s big heart was evident during his childhood in Massachusetts. He’d befriend children no one else would play with, and ward off bully attacks. At Brandeis University, he studied psychology, then worked with emotionally troubled adults and children. He found it impossible not to feel their pain and concluded he had to find another line of work. At 27, he decided to become a rabbi.

“It seemed like the perfect job for me, because my dream is to make the world a better place,” he said. “I love to help people. I’m a very caring and sharing individual.” Davidson graduated from the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York and moved to Southern California four years ago.

He’s had an active and enjoyable bachelor life, he says, but is now ready to settle down. He knows just what he’s looking for: “I’d like to find a lady who is lovely both inside and out. I’m looking for a woman who is genuinely sweet, soft, warm, feminine, intelligent, giving and pretty. Someone with a warm heart.”

Unfortunately, he’s often encountered something quite different.

“Some of the women who I’ve met have become jaded,” he says. “They aren’t the most feminine. It seems to be about what I can do for them. I’m very happy to give, but I want someone who’s going to give to me in return.”

In 15 years of dating, one would expect that Davidson has had some marriage near-misses. He’s had several long relationships and come close to marrying twice. He says, “The problem is, I don’t want to settle. When I get married, I want it to last for the rest of my life, so I’m waiting for that one special person. The first one was about eight years ago. I loved her, but I guess we were just too different. The other one was three years ago. She broke my heart when she left me.”

When it comes to dating, being a rabbi has its advantages and disadvantages.

“A lot of women are hesitant about being with a rabbi, because they fear that they’re dating a holy man, someone who’s super religious,” he says. “The truth is, I’m just a regular guy, and I like to do all the fun things on a date that anyone else likes to do.”

On the upside, because Davidson counsels couples in his congregation, he’s been able to observe some of the mistakes people make in their relationships.

“I think sometimes people rush into marriage because they find someone they think they love,” he said. “But sometimes they don’t know the person well enough. Or they marry the wrong person. The key is finding the right person.”

While he continues looking, Davidson will keep in mind his view of his dream woman: “The right person is someone who’s your soul mate, who complements you emotionally, physically, spiritually and intellectually. I’m an honest, compassionate person. And giving and loving. I try to see the good in everybody, in general, but when it comes to my marriage partner, I’m judgmental and very selective. I know what I want.”

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Mimi Avins can be reached at mimi.avins @latimes.com.