LAUGH LINES

You Go!: “In Yugoslavia, they’re [making] the Yugo again. Why would anyone buy a Yugo? Half the cars on the road are . . . SUVs, huge Navigators and Ford Expeditions. If your Yugo gets run over by one, the guy won’t even know he ran over you. He’ll be going: ‘What was that? A Coke can? A speed bump?’ ” (Jay Leno)

Lose the Lovin’: “Police and officials in Philadelphia, where the Republicans are set to open their convention, have advised the city’s hookers to leave town for a few days, promising zero tolerance and long sentences to any ladies of the evening who get busted. If the girls heed the warning, that old ‘City of Brotherly Love’ thing takes on a whole new meaning.” (Ira Lawson)

Behind the Scenes: “A company is coming out with something called ‘Wonderpants.’ . . . They’re pants that are like Wonderbras--but for your behind. . . . So now what are we guys supposed to say when our girlfriends ask: ‘Honey, do these pants make my butt look big?’ ” (Andrew Wisot)

Popping a Pill: “CBS News reported . . . that Scottish scientists have successfully tested a birth control pill for males. . . . They’re saying the pills are 100% effective. So far, in five years of tests . . . not one man has gotten pregnant.” (Argus Hamilton)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.