The Truth Behind Those Killer Waves
When is a calm ocean a dangerous place to be?
Well, the surfline.com report for Huntington Beach warned on Monday:
“This might very well be the smallest surf day of the year. I think it would be time for a human sacrifice.”
So be careful out there. Especially if you’re not a local.
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SPEAKING OF OLD CUSTOMS: The juxtaposition of two ads in an advertising flier caused Louise Wilson of Claremont to wonder if some readers might think a chastity bra was on the market (see accompanying).
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IN AN L.A. MINUTE: Not that people around here are in a hurry, but a catalog for the Learning Annex, a West L.A.-based company, offers these seminars:
* “How to Write a Movie in 21 Days”
* “How to Write a Book or Novel in 3 Weeks--or Less”
* “Begin Speaking a New Language Confidently in Just 3 Hours”
* “Success and Happiness and Prosperity in Just 5 Minutes a Day”
* “Learn to Read the Tarot in Just 1 Day”
I think I’d take the Tarot course first so I’d know whether I’d be better off spending three long weeks writing a movie, book or novel. And in which language.
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ON THE ROAD: Jane Levy of Los Angeles found a bit of gender confusion in a Las Vegas casino (see accompanying).
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BIG ORANGE VS. BIG APPLE: A New York Times article comparing Los Angeles and New York said that L.A. is an “industry town,” preoccupied with the entertainment biz. On the other hand, it continued, “Manhattan is a cultural capital, where an overheard conversation on the subway is as likely to be about Andrei Tarkovsky as Steven Spielberg, Diamanda Galas as Britney Spears.”
Perhaps. But I’ve overheard few conversations on the subways I’ve ridden in New York. Rather, I’ve observed readers mostly either studying tabloid newspapers with headlines like “Headless Body Found in Topless Bar” or staring into space to avoid making eye contact with the scary-looking people lurking nearby.
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FOLLOW THE BOUNCING BEACH BALL: In case you’re not in the mood for summer yet, here is a medley of classic beach lyrics that should send you scurrying to the ocean (though perhaps not Huntington Beach):
“When Veronica plays her harmonica/ On the pier at Santa Monica . . . “ (Kay Kyser orchestra).
“Fish and chips and the beer, dear/Down on Santa Monica pier . . . “ (Noel Harrison).
“So I think I’ll just travel on / To Avalon . . . “ (Al Jolson).
“And loved the world away /In Marina del Rey . . . “ (George Strait).
And, finally: “The sea gulls in the sky/Were dropping little bits of joy on you and me/ And on our lovely little/ Oxnard by the sea . . . “ (Clark Maffitt and Brian Davies).
That last ditty was titled “October in Oxnard.” But, like I always say, give me Oxnard any time of the year.
miscelLAny:
Writer Rich Roberts noticed that after the AMC showing of the 1944 movie “Lifeboat” the other night, viewers were told:
“The preceding was brought to you by Celebrity Cruises.”
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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.