Consumed by Your Success? It’s Time for Introspection

Is this you?

“My wife and I have a successful franchise,” a reader writes. “We have been in business for seven years and it has taken over completely every aspect of our lives. Unfortunately, that is what is required to be successful. We are at the point where we are not having fun anymore! I acknowledge that we have to make a change somehow, but I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any ideas?”

The place to start is with asking for help, and being willing to consider change. Work can at times be dull, frustrating and exhausting. No matter what career or business you choose, you’ll have days when it won’t be fun. But when those days start turning into weeks, and you feel the same dread about laboring in your business that you once felt working for someone else, then it’s time to do some diagnosis and repair.

Let’s begin with this quick quiz to help you figure out the true source of your unhappiness. Spend a few minutes with your spouse and answer these questions. Notice that sometimes your answers will differ from theirs. Your source of frustration may very well be different, and so will the solution.

1. Do you enjoy your work most of the time? For now, forget about customer complaints, pressures to make sales and the nuisances that accompany running any business--just think about the work itself. Do you enjoy it?

2. Are you good at what you do? Does it come naturally? Does performing this work make you feel good about yourself? Are there aspects of your work that you dread?

3. How do you feel about working with your spouse in business? Is it improving your marriage? Is it more stressful than you thought? Is it the best, or most challenging, part about the business? Are you fighting more lately, which makes your work less fun? Or, is your spouse the saving grace, the only aspect of your business you still truly love? Remember, it’s easier to get a new business than a new spouse.

4. Has the number of hours the business is taking grown or diminished as the business has developed? Are you getting more systematized and working less as you get better at what you do? Or are you working more hours as you grow because your systems have not caught up with your growth? Are you getting regular vacations and some time away every week?

5. What kinds of daily or weekly nuisances intrude on your workday and take away from your enjoyment? Are any of these avoidable? What do you think you need to do to have less aggravation?

6. Are you a happy person by nature, so this is an anomaly? Or, do you have a tendency to love something when you first begin, but then become disillusioned with it and bored? For example, if when you were working for an employer, you needed to change jobs frequently to stay interested in your work, you will probably also feel the itch for a change in your own business, as that pattern continues.

7. Are you making enough money to compensate you for your efforts? Can this business provide you and your family the lifestyle you desire?

8. Do customers thank you for your efforts? Do you feel as though you are making a positive difference in the world? Do family, friends and strangers have regard for your profession?

9. Are you doing the kind of work that you believe you were born to do--the work of your soul? Are you spending your time wishing you could be doing something else instead? If so, what? Is it related, or entirely different?

10. Do you believe that the solution to having more fun lies in making your current business more enjoyable, or in finding another line of work? Lots of marriages go through a seven-year itch; some end up in divorce. You haven’t committed to this business until death do you part, so consider your options. Is it time to move on, or is your angst a wake-up call to do your business differently?

Give yourselves permission to do this kind of soul searching. Who said you’re supposed to love your business and stick with it forever? If it isn’t fun anymore, something needs to change. Your solution lies in how you answered the 10 questions above. Until you know the source of your discontent, any attempts to fix it may be misguided.

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Azriela Jaffe is the author of “Starting From No: Ten Strategies to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection and Succeed in Business” (Dearborn, 1999) and other books. She can be reached at by e-mail at az@azriela.com or visit her Web site at https://www.isquare.com/crlink.htm