Skier’s Farewell Didn’t Suit Stuffed Shirts

Christian Jagge made the last run of his 15-year career on the World Cup ski circuit in style Sunday, wearing a tuxedo, bow tie and sunglasses, and walking across the finish line.

On his final slalom run at Bormio, Italy, the Norwegian Olympic champion stopped short of the line, took off his skis and walked as spectators cheered.

Jagge said he wanted to do something funny to mark his last race. Officials weren’t amused. Jagge’s stunt got him disqualified.

*

Trivia time: The NHL first played in the 1917-18 season. What were the original teams?

*

Ask him: Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune: “I got a look at UCLA Coach Steve Lavin and I’m thinking, ‘What are rising oil prices doing to his hair?’ ”

*

More Rosenbloom: “Attention National League hitters: Pitcher of the decade Greg Maddux just had laser eye surgery. Says he can see better. Good night, everybody.”

*

Report card: Davis Love III, on Tiger Woods: “When Ernie Els has his A game, he can shoot [18 under] like Tiger. Or, I can. But we can’t do it week after week.

“Tiger is playing everybody’s A game every week. Remember when he used to grade himself? He’s about an A-minus every week and an A-plus some weeks.”

*

Classic: Steve Jacobson of Newsday recalls that veteran sports editor and writer Jack Mann, who died recently at 74, once assigned a reporter to write about the fans who take stopwatches to track meets so he could run the headline, “These Are the Souls Who Time Men’s Tries.”

*

Dollar signs: Those who are happy with their last raise might want to skip the next sentence. The average NBA salary rose 20.5% this season, from $2.63 million to $3.17 million.

*

Shhh! Australian bumper sticker, as seen by the Sydney Morning Herald: “Keep taking your medication. Our Olympic visitors must suspect nothing.”

*

Boohoo: Headline in the San Francisco Chronicle after North Carolina upset Stanford, 60-53, in the NCAA tournament: “Stanford’s March Sadness.”

*

Looking back: On this day in 1994, the NFL announced the addition of the two-point conversion, the league’s first scoring change in 75 seasons.

*

Simple answer: Coach Bill Guthridge, whose North Carolina team stumbled through an 18-13 season, on the Tar Heels’ advance to the Sweet 16 in the NCAA tournament:

“We’re finally pushing the right buttons.”

*

Trivia answer: Montreal Canadiens, Montreal Wanderers, Ottawa Senators, and Toronto Arenas.

*

And finally: Michael Baumann of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, on the Badgers’ tournament victory over Arizona: “Wisconsin defended its ground like it was the center of the Union line on the final day of Gettysburg.”

Easy, Michael, easy.