Motion Slickness

If it walks, talks, creeps, crawls, slithers or flies, you may find it in the third annual Kinetic Sculpture Race this weekend in Ventura. All sorts of strange people-powered vehicles will try to survive a circuitous 12-mile route through the Poinsettia City, traversing stretches of road, sand, mud and water.

Kinetic is a word relating to motion or energetic activity, and a sculpture is, well, pretty much a hunk of art that’s not moving. Join the two and you get this wacky event, which is all about movable masterpieces with mechanical parts; imagine the Mona Lisa mounted on a halftrack, for example. The only limits are the builders’ imaginations. It’s a meeting of art, engineering and comedy.

Teona Brown, publicist for Ventura Harbor Village, gave a basic overview: “A kinetic sculpture race is a community event where groups or corporations get together and build a vehicle that can go through mud and sand and also must be able to float.”

The race embodies many of the qualities that figure prominently in the American character: ingenuity, teamwork, competition--and cheating. Norm Bundek, one of the event organizers, explained the rules.

“The rules are, if you can break the rules, do it. The whole thing is based on bribery,” Bundek said. “The idea is if you get caught doing something wrong, you better have a bribe so you can bribe the judge. That’s the American way. In this case, cheating is encouraged because it’s a lot of fun. For example, we’ve had people stash different wheels along the way behind a bush or something so they can change from road tires to sand tires. Unless you catch them, it’s all good.”

This is one of those something-for-everybody events. It’s for those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who wonder what happened.

According to Bundek, “Vehicles have to be able to go on city streets, so it can’t be any wider than 8 feet. It must be people-powered and you must carry all of your materials with you. So in other words, if you have a change of tires for sand or mud--everything must be self-contained.”

This mobile bazaar of the bizarre will begin Saturday at 8:30 a.m. at the corner of Main and California streets in downtown Ventura. The vehicles and their crews will assemble there, giving the public an opportunity to get an eyeful and chat with the participants before they’re panting too hard to talk. After final instructions, a cannon will fire at 11 a.m., initiating the weirdness as crew members skip down California Street to their waiting vehicles. That’s right, skip. Any other mode of motion is penalized.

The vehicles will head north on Main Street through town to the bike path, located just before the bridge at the Ventura River. The race will then follow the bike path toward the pier, another prime viewing location. Near the swings will be a large mound of sand that all the vehicles must conquer. Then the race will continue two miles down the beach to Martha’s Vineyard Court, where all the vehicles will wait until the last one finishes.

Police then will escort the racers to Ventura Harbor Village, where they should arrive about 3 p.m., ending the first day’s action. The participants will spend the night in the harbor, and their vehicles will be on display. Spectators who want to check them out will also be able to hear the Drivematics play some classic rock on the lawn area late Saturday afternoon. Also, Blue Stew will do its usual blues gig at Hi Cees, and not far away, Randy Rich and the Ravens will play more blues at the Pelican Bay Cafe.

Sunday morning, the teams will gather about 8:30 a.m. and head to the vacant lot by the Sheraton, which will be transformed into a huge mud pit each vehicle must pass through. Next, it’s down to the launching ramp and into the water for a two-mile cruise around the harbor. The vehicles will exit at Harbor Cove and retrace their route of the previous day, heading to the block of Seaward Avenue nearest the beach, where they will negotiate the Seaward Slalom, winding their way through the parking strips in the middle of the street.

After that, it’s the home stretch down the bike path to the Promenade area between the Holiday Inn and the Banana Belt Cantina, where the race concludes. The official party ender will be a barbecue and awards ceremony around 4 p.m. in the grassy area at the end of Figueroa Street near Surfers Point.

But the first-place finisher won’t be the winner.

“The winner is the person in the middle,” Bundek explained. “What we do is take all the times, all the penalties and all the things that are caught, and whoever ends up in the middle is the winner.”

Entrants are corporations, church groups or just plain folks who like to tinker. About 25 entries are expected, most from Ventura County. But several vehicles are coming from the Bay Area and five from Eureka, where the event has a 30-year history. Judges will be locals not above taking a bribe.

“We still can’t seem to find enough sponsorship, but this is such a fun thing, we’re going to keep doing it come hell or high water,” said Bundek. “It’s just a great community-spirit event.”

DETAILS

Ventura, starts Saturday, 11 a.m., at California and Main streets; ends Sunday, 2 p.m., at the Holiday Inn; free; 652-0000.

*

Bill Locey can be reached by e-mail at blocey@pacbell.net.