O.C. Lands a Title Role, but Local Teams Get Snubbed

O.C. confidential: Daily Variety says that Paramount Pictures has decided to film a comedy called “Orange County” (honest). It’s the story of a high school student whose plans to attend Stanford are stymied when his transcripts are mixed up with those of a goof-off.

Stanford, eh? Guess the Orange County kid wanted to go to the nearest school with a decent football program.

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HAIR-RAISING: How can a thief leave the scene of the crime with less than he started with? The Westsider newspaper reported such a case thusly:

“1:15 p.m., 5600 block of 3rd Street. A customer had a haircut at a barbershop and fled without paying.”

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DINING GUIDE FOR THE DARING: Hi, my name is Steve, and today’s selections (see accompanying) are:

* A roast meat dish with some sting (submitted by John Greenwood of Beverly Hills);

* A pork dish guaranteed to help you gain weight (Robert Riedel of Torrance); and

* A chicken dish for the workout set (John Keers of Saugus).

And for leftovers, Thomas Safran of L.A. saw a carwash ad that indicated that some people have found a new use for one trusty appetizer (see accompanying).

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WHO’S COUNTING? Michael Burkhart of San Diego heard a radio talk show host say, “I want to know how my children would be affected if I get breast augmentation. I have three of them.”

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MANAGER TO AISLE 3 ON THE DOUBLE! Shopping at a Wal-Mart, Michelle Brendel of Seal Beach took a package of vacuum bags to the checkout counter and asked what they cost.

“Price was not in the computer and after floor staff were sent back twice to check and then to a supervisor, it was ascertained that the package said, ‘Sears,’ ” Brendel said.

“I didn’t care if it said ‘Sears’ or ‘Wal-Mart,’ I just wanted to buy it--but oh, no, it would have to be returned. So I bought the same at Kmart down the street.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.