LAUGH LINES

Reality 101: “It seems a group of high school students in York, Pa., spent the night in a cardboard box to see how the homeless live. Don’t you love our school system? We don’t teach kids how to read, write or do math anymore. We teach them how to sleep in cardboard boxes so this will prepare them for what the future will be like when they graduate.”

(Jay Leno)

Going Into Hiding: “I think the No. 1 public relations blunder Osama [bin Laden] has made is that he lives in a cave-fortress. And if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that you can’t trust a guy who lives in a cave-fortress--Lex Luthor, Capt. Nemo, Dr. Evil. I’m telling you the list goes on.” (David Letterman)

Hairy Situation: “Wayne Newton led a troop of entertainers overseas recently to entertain U.S. military personnel. The entourage consists of one plane carrying the entertainers and another carrying sound and lighting equipment--and Newton’s supply of hair products.” (Ira Lawson)

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