In a Hurry? Must Be a New Yorker
The police log of the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise reported a sighting of “a suspicious man in his early 20s, wearing a hooded sweatshirt,” who was “seen running from the auto center toward Green Burrito.”
A subsequent investigation determined that the subject “was hurrying across the street to avoid getting hit.”
You can’t blame the suspicious witness. It’s so rare to see a pedestrian in Southern California.
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THE FINE PRINT: One of the most debated issues of our time, I’m sure you’ll agree, is whether Van Halen’s standard contract contained a provision demanding that the rock group be provided with a bowl of M&Ms--with; all the brown candies removed.
Small wonder then that the San Fernando Valley Folklore Society, which exposes urban myths, would tackle this one.
The answer: The story’s true--with an explanation.
Lead singer David Lee Roth said the band had so much equipment that it had to ask promoters for numerous specifications to avoid disasters.
Just to make sure the lengthy contract had been read, the group would insert the brown-M&Ms; provision.
Roth said that provision was ignored in one Colorado city and that the show didn’t go on. He added that, due to improper planning by promoters, “the staging sank through the floor.”
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MORE READING TESTS: Which reminded me of a book-sized environmental impact study that a colleague showed me. He had found a vulgarity inserted in the report as a joke. No one else ever noticed it, as far as I know.
And then there was the time that developer James Gianni sent along a parcel map of a Baldwin Park property that included a UFO landing site (see accompanying).
It was the idea of his engineer, Gianni said, adding, “These parcel map plans are jammed so full of information, he wondered if anyone would read all the stuff.”
I don’t believe word ever got out in Baldwin Park.
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LETTER PERFECT: An item here about the ingenuity of postal authorities at finding the destinations of letters rang true with Susan Von Der Ahe of Newport Beach. She wrote here about the time “a friend, Randy Whallen, sent us a party invitation and knew the directions to our house on Balboa Island, but not the address” (see accompanying).
Von Der Ahe (then Cain) praised the post office’s service “because we hated missing any parties.”
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ONE HUNDRED YEARS AGO: “J.R. Rice, the cowboy preacher who dispenses the Gospel on street corners and wears his hair long, had a slight slip from grace yesterday,” The Times reported Feb. 5, 1901.
It seems that Rice came staggering out of a saloon near the Plaza intending to have another person arrested. But, owing to his “slightly hazed” state, he “tried to arrest the policeman on the beat. . . .
“He grabbed the officer and hung on for dear life almost until the patrol wagon came.”
miscelLAny:
Is it a commentary on the energy crisis? The giant WOW sign that adorns the Tower Records/Good Guys building in the Marina Pacifica Mall in Long Beach suffered a partial blackout the other night. It said, instead, OW.