LAUGH LINES

What’s in a Name: “Clinton has proven why they call him the ‘comeback kid.’ . . . I mean, every time people see him, they go, ‘Hey, come back with that table! Hey!’ ” (Jay Leno)

Going Postal: “The Secret Service caught a former IRS employee outside the White House after he fired three shots from a gun. . . . The man was immediately arrested and given a job at the post office.” (Conan O’Brien)

Sending in the Troops: “An armed gunman was caught shooting at the White House [recently]. . . . They had air commandos in the helicopters, they had cops in combat gear swarming everywhere, they had Secret Service agents surrounding the White House. . . . And I’m thinking: ‘Where . . . were these guys when the Clintons were [taking] all the furniture out of the place?’ ” (David Letterman)

Just a Slight Misunderstanding: “[Bill Clinton] was paid $100,000 to speak to an investment firm. . . . Apparently, the speech was very well received. . . . But actually, one minor problem with the speech--Clinton tried to take the podium home with him. He thought it was a gift.” (Leno)

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