Head Gear

People who wear those freebie baseball hats festooned with advertising from dead dot-coms are so boring. Even worse, they are so low-tech.

To truly impress your high-tech friends, you need to get a user-programmable, scrolling LCD message hat, available from the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog or online at https://www.hammacher.com.

The $25 floppy hat has a liquid crystal display that can be programmed with as many as 10 messages, each as long as 250 characters.

Because of the low quality of the display, the messages are not that easy to read, and the hard-plastic case of the display unit--about the size of a pager--is a bit uncomfortable against your forehead.

But who cares about these little problems when you now have the power to display such crucial personal messages as: “Stay Away!” “Go Yankees!” or “I am such a loser for wearing this thing.”