LAUGH LINES

Secret Room: “The Clintons’ new Washington home is listed as having six bedrooms, but the White House says it only has five. Of course, the White House isn’t counting the extra bedroom Bill doesn’t want Hillary to know about.” (Paul Steinberg)

Bare Truth: “Beautiful actress Sarah Jessica Parker from ‘Sex and the City’ has a clause in all of her movie contracts. A standard clause: ‘No nudity.’ She will not do nude scenes. Why is it always actresses like Parker and Julia Roberts with ‘No nudity’ clauses? . . . How come it’s never Darva Conger, Paula Jones?” (Jay Leno)

Cell Out: “George W. Bush’s spokesman said the president-elect opposes federal funding for cell research. . . . He thinks enough research has been done. He’s learned the faster you execute the prisoners, the fewer cells you will need.” (Argus Hamilton)

*

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.