Jackson Must Step Down, Seek Direction

The Rev. Jesse Jackson has admitted to fathering “a daughter who was born outside of my marriage.”

First, let’s get the terminology straight.

It’s not merely “fathering a child outside of wedlock” or “having an affair.” It should also be considered pastoral sexual misconduct.

These terms were recently explained in Tamar Talks, an Orange County newsletter dedicated to the victims of clergy sexual abuse. Jan Tuin, who directs the Tamar’s Voice ministry, speaks from experience in her own compelling story “What About Her?” The privately published book--written under her pseudonym of Beth Van Dyke--sets her story in Colorado, but Tuin says her experience happened here. She gives several suggestions to bring more justice to light.

“One big step forward is to admit that the kind of relationship to which Rev. Jackson has confessed cannot ever be considered consensual,” Van Dyke said. “Meaningful consent cannot be given in a relationship that involves a power differential. Parishioners and employees alike are vulnerable because of the trust placed in the person with the power.”

Jackson’s partner in the affair was an employee of what effectively constitutes Jackson’s ministry: his Rainbow/PUSH Coalition.

Another big step, Van Dyke adds, is to neutralize the preferential treatment the pastor usually gets when an affair is discovered. The pastor’s good deeds and strengths often are touted in spite of his shortcomings, while the character of the victim is questioned.

Consequently, supporters rally around the pastor, while the victim often loses his or her support system, along with feelings of safety, security and trust.

This unfairness is demonstrated when victims lose their jobs or are pressured into resigning. It is unfair because less seldom does the pastor lose his livelihood and/or ordination.

I recently spoke to a national denominational official concerning this inequity. His reply: “Well, we’re doing better than we used to.”

As a spiritual director, I can vouch that another fallout of pastoral sexual misconduct is a loss of one’s relationship with God. One confused woman even told me that God was “ministering” to her through her current pastoral affair! Let me make it clear: It’s not ministry, it’s sin. It’s not love, it’s abuse.

Sexual bias is alive in Orange County. I encountered it firsthand recently when I attended a Sunday school class. The male teacher said Bathsheba, King David’s mistress, “got off easy” and was “at fault for bathing where David could see her.”

In those days, people seldom bathed. More likely, Bathsheba was performing a ritual washing required by the Hebrew Scriptures at a mandated pool. What is significant is that David was not in battle where he should have been when his wandering eyes preyed on her.

In addition, she could refuse King David’s summons to the palace only under penalty of death. The facts clearly do not support such a male cavalier attitude about Bathsheba, despite Hollywood’s prurient portrayal.

It is important to know that when the prophet Nathan visits David to convict him of his sin, there is no mention of sexuality. Nathan’s message (2 Samuel 12) is about the abuse of power. Professionals--kings, pastors and presidents included--are not safe to be around until they have worked through how to properly use their power for the good of those people who have empowered them.

Unfortunately, Jackson’s disclosure of his abuse of power fits a familiar pattern of forced involuntary disclosure made only when confronted with imminent disclosure:

* Minimalization. (“I was born of these circumstances.”)

* Rationalization. (“I have assumed emotional and financial support.”)

* Privatization. (“This is a private and family matter.”)

* Quasi-apology (“I am truly sorry for my actions.”)

Those words, taken directly from his press release, suggest to me it is arrogant for Jackson to say he is taking a vacation until “I return to my public ministry.”

In cases like this, I support immediate removal of the abuser from office, including a thorough search for other victims. This is not to imply that there are any, but experience has proved this step is necessary to determine the extent of the damage and to provide subsequent healing opportunities for all who have been affected.

And what about his public ministry? His public moral outcry--while engaging in private sexual misconduct--has produced a hypocrisy that neutralizes the moral imperative of his message. Jackson must step down while he seeks spiritual direction to correct the confusion of his own moral compass. Personal restoration is a slow journey, not a leap of faith.

I have said this in the hope that this teachable moment will encourage some who have remained silent to seek help. For assistance, e-mail TamarTalk@aol.com or visit https://www.Tamarsvoice.org.

God is near, and help is on its way.

The Rev. Connie Regener, a regular contributor to On Faith, has a private practice in spiritual direction. She may be reached at orange@nccj.org.

On Faith is a forum for Orange County clergy and others to offer their views on religious topics of general interest. Submissions, which will be published at the discretion of The Times and are subject to editing, should be delivered to Orange County religion page editor William Lobdell.