Rinky--Dink Gifts

If it weren’t for the Zamboni ice resurfacer--that hulking machine invented in 1949 by Paramount’s very own Frank J. Zamboni-- Kings fans would have far less to cheer about this season.

Now hard-core Zamboni fans and those seduced by the name, which sounds at once silly and vaguely naughty, can join the cult. The company offers more than three dozen items through its catalog. Among the highlights:

* Infant “Future Zamboni Driver” Snap Tee ($11.99) Paula Jensen, Zamboni’s general manager of merchandising, insists that Zamboni driver is a worthy aspiration. “Why not?” she says, pointing out that Snoopy occasionally drove a Zamboni. (Never mind that Carla’s husband on “Cheers” was killed by a Zamboni.)

* Machine Lithograph ($6.99) This lovingly composed photograph of a Zamboni pas de deux taken during the 1994 Olympics in Lillehammer, Norway, is the perfect bachelor pad accessory. Note to single women: beware the guy who has this poster displayed prominently above his bed.

* Original Six Tee ($16.99) This, the most popular catalog item, takes a historical look at Zamboni, highlighting the first six machines. Proof that hockey and intellectualism are not mutually exclusive.

* Gold-Plated Die-Cast Bank ($49.99) For the youngster who’s too macho for the traditional piggy. Snow tank lifts to reveal hidden coin slot. More dependable than the S&P; 500. Can also be used to stage spectacular Zamboni accidents.

* “Floaty” Pen ($4.99) A surprise hit since its introduction last spring. Not quite as satisfying as the classic woman undressed, but diverting enough. Tough to say which moves faster, the “Floaty” Zamboni or the real thing, which tops out at 9 mph.