Agassi a Shell of His Former Public Self

After the thunderous ovations and marriage proposals he used to collect here--not to mention the way he lapped up attention during his peroxide-blond years, the Image-is-Everything years, his Zen Master period with Barbra Streisand, the Hollywood years with Brooke Shields, and those tabloid frenzies he caused about everything from his “burger gut” to whether he was/wasn’t into total body waxes--it’s hard to believe Andre Agassi has become a crank or--worse yet--passe at Wimbledon.

But look at the poor guy. There’s no mirth in his eyes right now.

No bounce in his step.

After his straight-set, first-round win over Dutchman Peter Wessels on Monday, a London newspaper reporter tried to lure Agassi into yet another discussion about his love life, noting that the BBC had showed Steffi Graf, Agassi’s current flame, watching his match with a gold band on her wedding finger.

It’s a routine line of questioning, the sort that used to make the younger Agassi smirk, turn coy, then parry back with a joke, a double entendre, maybe even a naughty wink. But not the Agassi who showed up Monday.

“Any plans to marry?” the reporter asked.

“Why don’t you think of a question that is your business?” Agassi acidly said.

“Your fans would be keen to know,” the scribe brightly persisted.

“I’ll wait till they ask me,” Agassi sarcastically shot back.

Well.

When reminded that the Wimbledon crowd would be pulling against him, for once, in Thursday’s match against British underdog Jamie Delgado, Agassi dryly said, “I’ll have to rely on my tennis game then, won’t I?”

As we say here in London--a place where a tame adjective never is invoked when an overwrought adjective will do--Agassi’s grumpiness has been astonishing! Perplexing! Fraught with frightful complexities! In a word? It’s flummoxing! If it weren’t for the same old skills he showed Thursday against Delgado--the great return of service, the stinging groundstrokes, the stingy refusal to give away a single poin--you’d be tempted to rub your eyes and sneak down to the railing for a closer look, just to make sure it’s really Agassi.

For reasons no one quite understands, Agassi refuses even to acknowledge, let alone come clean on whether his midmatch meltdown at the French Open four weeks ago against Sebastien Grosjean had anything to do with the buzz created by Bill Clinton’s entrance into Roland Garros to watch the match.

Folks who were there swear Agassi looked up and made a brief nod of acknowledgment to Clinton, whom Agassi has met at some charity functions. Yet after seizing the first set from Grosjean in just 20 minutes, Agassi almost instantly fell apart once Clinton arrived. Then Agassi sulked through his postmatch news conference. Especially when asked if he was surprised to see Clinton.

“I didn’t know he was there,” Agassi insisted back then. A week ago. And once again Thursday.

“Did I lose to Grosjean at the French Open?” Agassi said.

What’s going on? Maybe it’s this simple: Agassi just doesn’t feel like picking a fight with the former leader of the free world. Maybe Agassi and Steffi merely had a tiff this week over whose turn it was to go to Wimbledon village and endure the autograph seekers while they picked up their Thai food takeout order. Maybe Andre is having the sorts of crises many 31-year-old divorcees do. Maybe he secretly looks in the mirror while he’s shaving and asks himself, “How did I stop being a heartthrob before that SOB Clinton?!”

Who knows? Nowadays, the schoolgirls here write “Roddick” or “Hewitt” in lipstick on their midriffs, they don’t squeal for Andre.

Just Thursday, Agassi changed his shirt midway through the first set against Delgado, a sight that routinely used to elicit a randy round of shouts and whistling for him, and all Agassi got back on Center Court were a few hoots, one from a lady with a beehive hairdo who shot to her feet and began applauding madly.

Whatever is bugging Andre, Andre isn’t saying much beyond an admission Thursday that merely playing Wimbledon makes him as skittish as a guy who’s about to pass a kidney stone.

Still not breaking into a smile, Agassi said, “I have this incredible ability to stress myself out against anybody.”