LAUGH LINES

California Crisis: “According to people who make these things, there is a shortage of breast implants. They say the waiting period is 30 to 60 days. Let me tell you, this is going to hit California a lot harder than any power shortage.” (Jay Leno)

Special of the Day: “ ‘Hannibal’ . . . opened in Europe to huge crowds. In the movie, he assumes a new identity in Italy. He accidentally gives himself away in a restaurant when he orders pizza with everybody on it.” (Argus Hamilton)

Another Year Older: “Playboy icon Hugh Hefner now has a unique standing among Hollywood’s waxed elite. The Hollywood Wax Museum has enshrined Hefner’s waxed figure. . . . The unveiling of Hefner’s wax figure . . . coincides with the aging playboy’s . . . 75th birthday in April. . . . The interesting thing won’t be if Hef can blow out all the candles on his cake. It’ll be if any of his girlfriends can count that high.” (Mark Wheeler)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.