LAUGH LINES

Pardon Me?: “Roger Clinton gave [Bill] Clinton a list of 10 names of friends and acquaintances that he wanted pardons for. If you have 10 convict friends who need pardons, maybe you are running with the wrong crowd.” (Jay Leno)

That Hurts: “Nike USA Inc. is voluntarily recalling around 225,000 pairs of shoes that could [cause injury]. . . . Consumers should return the shoes to the [store of purchase] or call Nike for more information. . . . This is news for Nike buyers. Usually the pain comes at the cash register.” (Mark Wheeler)

Speaking Out: “Laura Bush recently announced on the ‘Today’ show that she thinks Roe vs. Wade should not be overturned. . . . The pro-choice people aren’t sure she’s an asset to their side, however. . . . After all, look who she chose for a husband.” (Linda Manning)

Fair and Square: “It turns out that Al Gore actually lost Florida by 140 votes. Now the Republicans are stunned. They cannot believe that they may have actually won this election fair and square.” (David Letterman)

*

Send us a line: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, L.A Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.