One of Jane’s Jerks

“Lesley Castle,” a short story Jane Austen wrote when she was 16, features an early example of the sort of insufferable character Austen would often lampoon in her grown-up novels. Miss Charlotte Luttrell contentedly thinks of herself as saintly and long-suffering but actually consults her own comfort and convenience at every turn.

She prepares the dinner for her sister’s wedding, and when the groom, Henry, suffers a fractured skull just before the ceremony, her first thought is to start eating up the food. When her sister doesn’t feel like joining in, Charlotte undertakes to comfort her (despite the casual way she refers to Henry’s condition, it’s not at all certain at this point that the injury is fatal):

“Dear Eloisa, there’s no occasion for your crying so much about such a trifle. You see that it does not vex me in the least; though perhaps I may suffer most from it after all; for I shall not only be obliged to eat up all the victuals I have dressed already, but must, if Henry should recover (which, however, is not very likely), dress as much for you again; or should he die (as I suppose he will), I shall still have to prepare a dinner for you whenever you may marry anyone else.

“So you see that, though perhaps for the present it may afflict you to think of Henry’s sufferings, yet I dare say he’ll die soon, and then his pain will be over and you will be easy, whereas my trouble will last much longer, for, work as hard as I may, I am certain that the pantry cannot be cleared in less than a fortnight.”