Train Sim Has No Soul

Even as a model railroad buff, I had trouble finding much to like about “Microsoft Train Simulator,” an utterly lifeless and monotonous PC game that’s not saved even by letting players command some of the most famous locomotives in the world.

On some sort of existential level, every computer and video game is pointless in the end. But “Train Simulator” is pointless from the very beginning. Unlike complex and involving train games such as “Railroad Tycoon,” “Train Simulator” offers little more than pretty rides through countrysides and cityscapes.

Frankly, sitting back and watching the world zip by is the best part of “Train Simulator,” even though the actual game comprises a series of challenges in various parts of the world. For instance, players can haul freight on a deadline across the American interior. Or run Japanese commuters from station to station. Or command the famous Orient Express.

It sounds a lot more interesting than it actually is. Although some of the steam engines offer a challenge, most of the locomotives--particularly the modern electrics--are ridiculously easy to control. Raise the pantograph, set the reverser, release the brake and open up the throttle. If that’s really all there is to it, Amtrak could meet its profitability mandate tomorrow by replacing its engineers with chimps.

Since “Train Simulator” is theoretically a train simulator, the default view is from the cab of the various locomotives. Players can look straight ahead, right and left, but all of the controls and gauges are arranged in the center view. In most of the engines, this gives players a nice view of the track ahead. But in the steam engines, almost nothing is visible up ahead.

Players can manipulate controls with the mouse, but it’s incredibly awkward. It’s easier to use the keyboard, but that has its own set of problems because it takes a pretty keen memory to remember which key does what--especially when doing several things at once.

The scenery zipping by is nicely rendered, and when players opt for one of the other camera angles--including a tracking shot that follows the train--the scope of the surrounding details looks pretty impressive.

But if lovely scenery is all you’re after, hop onto a classic train such as the narrow-gauge Durango & Silverton railroad in Colorado. As in “Microsoft Train Simulator,” you can sit on your duff and do nothing except watch the world go by.

A truly frustrated engineer wannabe might find “Train Simulator” worth playing, but it’s hard to imagine anyone else finding much to enjoy in a game that spends most of its time on the long, slow track to Dullsville.

‘MTV Music Generator 2.0’

Topping the charts these days doesn’t appear to take much in the way of real musical talent. Knowing how to dance in unison and having a good producer put you halfway toward opening for Britney. With “MTV Music Generator 2.0” for Sony PlayStation 2, it’s possible you don’t even need the producer anymore.

The original “Music Generator” was one of the most interesting and unusual titles on PlayStation. The sequel is even better, letting users compose songs with as many as 48 channels by mixing canned riffs or recording their own with a separate attachment.

Even the most unmusical member of a family can turn out some pretty sweet tunes within an hour of cranking up “Music Generator 2.0.” Users drop riffs onto a grid in which each block represents a unit of time. Users can set rhythm riffs, bass riffs, melody riffs or vocal riffs side by side to create some cool effects.

The riffs are categorized by musical styles--house, trance, pop, etc.--and it’s a cinch to set up short, repetitive songs. Tougher, but more rewarding, are complex numbers in which users set up all kinds of nifty turns or layer riff upon riff for a rich collage of sound.

This being the “MTV Music Generator” and all, the disc also includes the ability to create abstract videos to accompany the music. Although not as fun as the music composer, the video editor does add another dimension to the title and makes it reasonable that someone could host a party and play tunes saved to a memory card all night.

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Aaron Curtiss is editor of Tech Times.

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