Thoughtful Words to Mark the End

Excerpts from “A Rite of Divorce,” a ceremony written by Unitarian Universalist Assn. clergyman Rudolph W. Nemser in 1966.

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We have come to witness and participate in a solemn and awesome act: a rite of divorce. Divorce is a rite of meaning and import. It must be entered into only with deepest consideration and strongest conviction.

We assemble with many feelings: sadness and disappointment and apprehension. But also, perhaps, for some there is relief and hope and even approval. We have come with many feelings: with mixed feelings.

This ceremony marks the end of a long and intense relationship: perhaps neither as long nor as intense as some might wish, but truly long and intense in the lives of this couple. This ceremony marks the end of a love.

... I am here, then, to say to you that, although this is the day of your divorce, your relationship does not conclude. There can never completely be a separation. Always there is a past that is shared. Always, there are concerns of the present.

... These bonds are not to manipulate the other ... ; these are not to control nor to punish.

Let them, rather, be bonds to strengthen. To support. To help each other gain the force and stability you both shall need.