How to Cope With That Feeling of ‘Will Life Ever Be the Same?’

Americans of all ages are struggling to recover from the terrible tragedies of last week’s terrorist attacks. For kids, this may be a particularly difficult time.

They may have the feeling that life never is going to be the same. They see fear in their parents’ faces, and this increases their own anxiety. Knowing someone who was hurt or killed in the attacks can cause intense grief. Even children who did not know anyone directly affected by the plane crashes may feel shock, fear, sadness and anger.

Those emotions are normal reactions to a tragedy, says Dr. David Feinberg, a UCLA psychiatrist who works with kids and teens. Feeling dazed and irritable for days or even weeks is common.

The high stress level can cause physical symptoms too, such as nausea, headaches and the sense that your heart is racing.

Feinberg says one of the best ways to deal with your emotions is to talk about them. Many schools have crisis counselors on campus to help their students cope. Talking with your parents and teachers also is a good idea, he advises young people. Don’t be embarrassed about your reactions. You may be upset because your soccer game was canceled. It’s all right to feel that way.

“Disruption of your normal routine is frightening,” Feinberg says.

Many kids have trouble sleeping after a traumatic event. Some want to sleep on the floor of their parents’ room, and that’s fine, says Feinberg. But he adds that returning to your regular routine as quickly as possible can help you recover.

He recommends not watching the news, because this can make you relive the tragedy. Doing homework, eating dinner, working on the computer, playing with friends or other normal activities are all good ideas. Getting back to your usual schedule can help you feel better, he says.

Finally, it may comfort you to talk with grandparents or other relatives who have experienced terrible tragedies, yet somehow moved on.

“Time is probably our best healer,” Feinberg says.

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* Next month’s topic: Tips for a healthful school year.

* Kid Health runs the third Monday of the month. E-mail Emily Dwass at emilydwass@yahoo.com. Send art submissions to Kid Health, Health section, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012. Include age, grade and school. Sorry, but submissions cannot be returned.