Their comfort zone
Even Shadoe Gray and Michelle Wilson -- two of the unstoppable forces behind the Big Beautiful Movement in Southern California -- had no idea what would follow when they predicted this would be the Year of the Curvy Woman.
Pop culture seems to have fallen in line with their forecast. Think of the plus-size actresses stripping down to their skivvies in “Real Women Have Curves” and the plump bride marrying her Prince Charming in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” Plus-size models in designer fashions have dazzled on catwalks, a recent People cover story deemed women of all sizes sexy, and a magazine called Grace -- aimed at women “who live life to the fullest” -- took its place on the newsstand.
The year also saw Club Curves, Gray and Wilson’s 15-month-old local nightclub for plus-size women, grow so popular that it expanded to another location in Redondo Beach. On Nov. 30, the second Club Curves opened in San Diego, and two more are planned for Las Vegas and the San Jose area next year. A virtual extension of Club Curves launched Dec. 9 in the form of an Internet personals site, which strives to connect plus-size people all over the world. Next up for Club Curves is franchising. The first one is set to open in New York City next year.
“We are people like everybody else,” says Gray, 38, a size 22. “We drink and we dance and we do everything everybody else does. We have women who had never been to a nightclub before come in here and have men pay attention to them or buy them drinks. It gives them a sense of self-confidence that they take to their jobs, to their marriages or wherever.”
Indeed, the success of Gray and Wilson’s vision may be emblematic of a shift in popular culture. While health experts rail against the increasing rate of obesity in the U.S., a growing number of Americans who are overweight -- by 20 pounds, 60 pounds or 100 pounds -- are finding their voice. And those voices are not screaming to let their “inner thin” out; they are clamoring for acceptance, just the way they are.
“This is the beginning of a social movement,” says Pam Haldeman, chairwoman of the sociology department at Mount St. Mary’s College who has supervised several research projects about body image. “When society tends to go to one extreme, you’re going to have an opposite reaction. There is definitely a rebellion, especially among the younger generation, and being full-bodied is attractive again. What the full-figured population is doing is community-building and that’s uplifting.”
Determined to be part of mainstream America, Gray and Wilson shy away from using the term “big beautiful women,” or BBW, to describe themselves and their clientele. The reference to full-figured women was first coined in 1979 in BBW magazine, a fashion and lifestyle bimonthly product of the women’s movement. “Back then, it was a real radical concept that plus-size women should accept themselves and accept their beauty,” says BBW editor in chief Sally Smith, who also served for 11 years as executive director of the National Assn. to Advance Fat Acceptance.
“I think there is still a long way to go for this movement because the social stigma against large people is rampant. But I do think the public has a better understanding of the fact that losing the weight on a permanent basis is easier to say than to do. I do think more plus-size people are traveling the road of self-acceptance.”
Nowhere is it more obvious than the Internet, where plus-size people have created a vibrant community where they can expect consistent support and understanding.
“The Internet gave full-figured women an exposure they didn’t have before,” Gray says. “It gave women a way to get their personalities across to people and not be judged initially by size. The Internet let plus-size women put their best face forward without having to put their face forward.”
The original Club Curves opened in a Culver City shopping center a few weeks before the Sept. 11 attacks and got off to a slow start. Then Gray and Wilson threw a New Year’s ball called “Curvy Heaven,” and people lined up for hours waiting for their chance to get into the 200-capacity space. The new club, which operates on Fridays and Saturdays in the former Ibiza Beach Club at the Redondo Beach Pier, accommodates 500 and soon will be open four nights a week.
On a recent Friday night, the crowd was diverse: black and white, young and middle-aged; plump and obese. A handful of thin men and women were in the mix, grooving to hip-hop, reggae and R&B.; Men were dressed casually in button-down shirts and slacks or jeans; women flaunted their bodies in mini-skirts and halters, fitted jeans and sheer tops.
Among the men was Alex Davtian, a stocky 29-year-old, who prefers to go to Club Curves alone than to accompany his buddies to clubs like Century Club in Century City or the downtown Stock Exchange that he considers meat markets. “My friends will go to those kinds of clubs and then they call me at 2 a.m. to see if I want to meet them at Denny’s because they didn’t meet anyone, they didn’t dance or talk to anyone,” he says. “Why would I go out with them? For somebody to give me a wrong number or not even talk to me? I feel accepted here. You don’t get any attitude from anybody, and from the second you walk in, you feel welcome.”
Before Club Curves, plus-size men and women in the Southern California relied on groups, such as the Big Difference, for social gatherings. Some of those groups were inspired by the networking events and conventions of the National Assn. to Advance Fat Acceptance, which formed in 1969.
Pamela Lynn, founder of the monthly Big Difference parties, likes to say she “makes a big difference in the thin capital of the world.” At 400 pounds, Lynn, of Lake Forest, says she has dedicated herself to helping other women break down social barriers. During the last 10 years, her organization has witnessed substantial trends.
The fashion industry, for example, is paying attention to plus-size shoppers. Recognizing that more than half of all U.S. women wear size 14 or larger, designers such as Liz Claiborne, Tommy Hilfiger and Ralph Lauren have quietly created plus-size lines. SizeAppeal, an online retailer, offers clothing that mimics the feel of that found at stores such as Rampage, but the sizes are plus.
“The fashion industry has been dragged kicking and screaming into this market,” says Smith, who wears a size 32. “Mainstream designers are jumping into this market, but there’s a hypocrisy to it because they don’t advertise it. But they realize this is the only part of that market which is growing.”
Entrepreneurs such as Michele Varon of Abundance boutiques in Sherman Oaks and Beverly Hills have opened shops out of their own desire to find sexy, designer clothing in the plus sizes. Her stores carry moderately priced to high-end apparel, and include everything from jeans to ball gowns with designers such as Steel Pony, Tadashi, Coco & Juan.
“We’ve all heard the stories of the big woman who goes shopping at the market and somebody pulls things out of her cart and yells no!” says Lynn, 40. “I do see changes taking place. Even men are more comfortable with their preferences now. The more we get out there, the better things will get.”
For Club Curves’ Wilson, 32, confidence was never an issue, even during adolescence, when teenagers strive to be accepted. A former administrator for the city of Los Angeles, Wilson says she was never aware of discrimination against plus-size women until she became friends with Gray and they began discussing going into business together.
“Being a part of this has really opened my eyes,” says Wilson, a size 26. “I’ve always worn the short skirts and the small tops and been fine with flaunting my sensuality. I’ve always felt good about who I am.”
Although Wilson and Gray are emphatic that they do not promote being overweight or obese, “what we’re saying is, if you are fat, we want society to say it’s OK for you to go out and dance too,” Gray says. The partners regularly hear from critics who accuse them of contributing to the nation’s obesity epidemic by providing a social outlet for overweight people.
“When people tell me they can’t support us because we are encouraging women to be big, I always ask them, ‘Do you think they should just stay home?’ ” Gray says. “Can you think of a better way to get healthy than to go out with friends and dance and laugh for four hours? What better way for these women to become part of society and be encouraged to be healthier?”
For some of Club Curves’ most loyal clients, it’s still not easy to find that comfort zone. Instead of dancing or mingling on a recent Friday night, some women chose to sit on the sidelines, watching the high-energy party develop around them.
But then there are clients like Davtian, who has yet to persuade his friends to join him at the club that opened his heart to a simple truth: “For some men, to date a big girl is not acceptable. But I tell them to come with an open mind. It’s what is inside that counts.”