Only the Dutch Get Cold Feet

Roaring gusts of wind reaching 50 mph wiped out the first scheduled competition of the Salt Lake City Games, 90-meter ski jump qualifying, which turned the rest of the day over to the most grueling endurance sport on the Winter Olympic agenda.

The opening ceremony.

Shivering and shaking for more than two hours in an ice box known around here as Rice-Eccles (rhymes with icicles ) Stadium, with temperatures in the teens and the wind-chill factor deepening even further, were some 2,500 athletes, 55,000 spectators and the first larger-than-life hero of the 2002 Olympics:

That guy from Bermuda who completed his lap in the “Parade of Champions” wearing short pants.

For the record, his name is Patrick Singleton and he competes in the one-man luge, primarily because Bermuda doesn’t have two lugers. Singleton comprised the entire Bermuda athletic delegation, going it alone and underdressed, much tougher than any of those weak-kneed Dutch, who still didn’t have a volunteer to carry the flag as of Thursday because it was going to be “too cold.”

What can you expect from a nation of indoor speedskaters and soccer players?

(Funny, members of the Dutch soccer team use the very same excuse every time someone asks, “How come you’re not going to the World Cup?”)

Too cold? Yes, that might be a problem here, this being the Winter Olympics. International Olympic President Committee President Jacques Rogge was deeply disappointed in the Dutch, publicly scolding them during a Thursday news conference, and by sundown Friday, the Netherlands finally had its act together, handing the flag to a female snowboarder, Nicolien Sauerbreij.

Good thing they keep adding these new Olympic sports.

Volunteerism, once an honorable tradition of the Olympic Games, is taking a hit in Salt Lake. At least among the athletes and the ex-athletes. You probably noticed the honor roll of American champions who took part in the final leg of the torch relay--Dorothy Hamill and Dick Button to Scott Hamilton and Peggy Fleming to Phil Mahre and Bill Johnson to Dan Jansen and Bonnie Blair to Jim Shea and his son Jimmy to Picabo Street and Cammi Granato to members of the 1980 “Miracle on Ice” hockey team, who were smart enough to arrive with extra padding and insulation, all of it naturally acquired during the past 22 years.

You did not notice Eric Heiden, five-time gold medalist in 1980, because he decided the opening ceremony of the first U.S. Winter Olympics since Lake Placid was a good time to start behaving like an NBA player. Salt Lake officials approached Heiden about participating as “one of the last guys” to carry the torch.

“I told them I wanted to be the last guy,” Heiden told Sporting News Radio. “They said they couldn’t do that, and I said, ‘Well, then I have other things to do.’ So I kind of turned them down.”

That’s the Olympic spirit.

Light the fire within.

This was the Salt Lake opening ceremony in a nutshell: Eric Heiden was a no-show, but Steve Young carried the flag for Great Britain. That’s right, that Steve Young, who used to carry the flag for the San Francisco 49ers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

How does this happen? Why does this happen? More than $310 million is spent on security, the federal government flies in hundreds of special agents and a former NFL quarterback slips through to commandeer the British flag?

Well, he always was elusive scrambling out of the pocket.

Actually, if you think about it awhile, and think about it some more, it starts to make some sense. Young speaks English. He’s a distant descendant of Brigham Young. And the Brits, let’s face, will adopt anyone if they’re agreeable to helping out Her Majesty’s Sporting Service a bit. Really now, who’s more British at the core--Steve Young or Greg Rusedski?

Contrary to the greatest fears among the international media, Friday’s ceremony was not the anticipated orgy of American hyper-patriotism. Oh, there were a few moments that straddled the line.

In the heartland of the country that gave the world baseball, in the middle of the city that gives the Angels their triple-A prospects and then gladly accepts them back, a guy named Mitt hung out with Rogge and gave an inspirational speech.

And the fans in the stands broke out “Tthe Wave,” a very gauche breach of Olympic etiquette. Although, in fairness, it must be noted: French athletes allegedly started “The Wave”--the French, you know how they are--and, well, it was c-c-c-o-l-d out there. Had to do something to try to stay warm.

Overall, the proceedings were pleasantly restrained. When Rogge got his turn to give his speech, he referred to U.S. and Salt Lake organizers as “our wonderful American hosts” and not “spittle of toad,” which was quite unexpected but generous of him.

And a lengthy and intricate salute to Utah pioneers skirted the more controversial aspects of the Donner Party story. Evidently, it’s very difficult to choreograph cannibalism in 19-degree weather on ice.

Final security breach of the night: Figure skater Sasha Cohen, the pride of Laguna Niguel, smuggling a mobile phone into the stadium, placing a call to her parents and shoving the handset in the face of the man standing next to her: President Bush.

“Hi. I’m the president,” Bush told the Cohens.

Welcome to Utah, folks. These Games, you have to suspect, they’re going to be different.