An Olympic Skating Controversy With Legs

Forget the heated controversy that swirled around the selection of Russia over Canada for the gold medal in the 2002 Olympics pairs figure-skating competition.

The real outrage, the question that lingers over the mountains of Utah is, why won’t they let the three-legged skater compete?

I put that in italic letters not only to grab your attention but to emphasize my concern over a slight that is bound to have repercussions among activists in the community of those with ... well

As Desi Arnaz used to say, let me ‘splain.

I have been watching parts of the NBC coverage of the Olympics with growing boredom. The giddy enthusiasm of the commentators is almost more than I can bear, and the thrill of someone skidding down a hill is, I’m afraid, lost on me.

But it seems somehow un-American to just ignore the games altogether in this time of national trauma. Rather than risk an investigation by John Ashcroft, I spent hours watching young snowboarders fling themselves about on the half-pipe for no obvious purpose, and older men curling a device across a frozen surface in what is arguably the most lackluster competitive sport ever created.

I say that, realizing with a shudder that ballroom dancing may be included in the next summer Olympics, God help us all, which would push curling into second place. The motto “swifter, higher and stronger” may soon include “smoother, sweeter and more rhythmic.” What next, competitive cosmetics? Speed eyeliner?

I was in this frame of mind when, while shopping at a supermarket, I saw a tabloid headline that proclaimed, “Salt Lake Shocker! 3-Legged Skater Banned!” At last, I said to myself, real controversy in a carnival of ennui.

The headline was in a newspaper, if I may use the term, called the Weekly World News. I was drawn to it in the first place by an earlier front-page feature that caught my attention while I was shopping for beer and cat food. It claimed that Abraham Lincoln was a woman. Or, utilizing WWN’s terminology, Abe was a babe.

I’ll spare you details of the report, except to say that the assertion is based on photographs, allegedly found in the basement of the White House, that depict Lincoln in buttons and bows. John Wilkes Booth, the man who assassinated the 16th president of the United States, says the story, could have been her jilted lover.

That was pretty interesting, all right, but the plight of the three-legged skater is far more compelling, due to my continuing concern over those deprived of their right to perform. I feel the same about amateur stripping contests conducted in certain jock bars.

According to a story written by one Michael Forsyth, the three-legged skater is McKenzie Sarchent, 22, who lives in Salt Lake City. There is a full-page photograph of her skating, with her arms (two) flung into the air, and her legs (three) mastering the ice. The bold-faced caption says, “She spins around on the ice like a helicopter!” I’ll bet.

Forsyth quotes the girl’s outraged father, one Jack Sarchent, as saying McKenzie was banned from the Olympics figure-skating competition this week by “skating officials” because the third leg gives her an unfair advantage over skaters with two legs.

Among other achievements, he says, McKenzie is able to perform a quintuple axel, and can attain phenomenal speeds on the ice due to her extra leg. “She uses it,” the story says, “like an alligator swishing its tail.”

WWN is published in Boca Raton, Fla. I twice attempted to contact Michael Forsyth, who is listed in the staff box as the tabloid’s senior writer, but my calls were never returned. I wanted the phone number of McKenzie or her daddy, since there was no listing of anyone in Salt Lake with the last name of Sarchent. I felt that as a professional courtesy, Forsyth might give me their number.

Lacking contact with the story’s author, I next telephoned the U.S. Olympic Organizing Committee office in Utah and spoke with Jeff Nimori in media relations. He said, “You want whaaat?”

I said, “I want to know if you have any information regarding the refusal of the Olympic committee to allow a woman with three legs to skate in competition.”

My question was followed by such dead silence that I thought at first our connection had been broken. I explained in more detail why I was asking the question, and he said, “Does this have a tie-in with the condom thing?”

He was referring to the brouhaha regarding the availability of condoms in the Olympic Village for those athletes who engage in sports not listed on the usual rosters.

“No,” I said, “it’s just about a three-legged ice skater.”

Puzzled by my interest, he asked me to fax the story to him, which I did. He ended our conversation by laughing slightly and saying that the media office made it a policy not to comment on stories in the newspaper, but promised someone would look into the situation. I never heard from him.

I might follow up on the piece someday, but for the time being I’m concentrating on another intriguing story I found in the same issue of the tabloid. It’s about a model named Hannah L’Blanc. The headline says, “Gal Strangled by Her Own Bra & Panties.” What a way to go.

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Al Martinez’s column appears Mondays and Thursdays. He’s at al.martinez@latimes.com