ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT REPORTS FROM THE TIMES, NEWS SERVICES AND THE NATION’S PRESS.

TELEVISION

‘Not the Best News,’ Says Sharon Osbourne

After having a foot of her colon surgically removed earlier this month, Sharon Osbourne--wife of heavy-metal rocker Ozzy Osbourne and matriarch of the MTV “reality” series “The Osbournes”--has revealed that her cancer has spread.

“It was not the best news,” she told People magazine for its current issue. “You think nothing will ever happen to you. You’re invincible. Then after you get over the shock and panic, you realize how lucky you are to be alive.”

Network cameras will follow Osbourne through three months of chemotherapy, beginning July 29. New episodes start airing in the fall.

The 49-year-old was diagnosed with colorectal cancer on July 1 and underwent surgery two days later. On July 8, one of two lymph nodes removed tested positive for cancerous cells--a sign that the cancer had spread.

Meanwhile, the couple’s 16-year-old son Jack was treated for an arm injury Wednesday after jumping off the Malibu pier along with several other teenagers.

MOVIES

Submarine Portrayal Ruffles Russian Feathers

Though the new Harrison Ford submarine thriller “K-19: The Widowmaker” won’t hit Russian movie theaters until October, it’s already generating friction in Moscow from experts who consulted on the film.

Directed by Kathryn Bigelow and co-starring Liam Neeson, the story is based on a 1961 accident aboard a Russian nuclear submarine that came close to a meltdown in the North Atlantic.

“This film isn’t about Russians but about how Americans want to see Russians,” Igor Kurdin, head of a St. Petersburg-based group of retired submariners, told the Russian newspaper Izvestia on Friday.

Veterans groups have threatened to the sue the filmmakers over alleged inaccuracies such as the heavy drinking habits aboard the subs and what they say is an incorrect portrayal of the conflict in leadership between the ship’s two top officers, the newspaper reports.

The incident remains a sensitive topic in the country. Russian distributors of the movie have pledged 1% of the proceeds for families of its 118 victims.

THE ARTS

Rubens’ Owner Springs for New Frame

David Thomson, the billionaire chairman of the Thomson newspaper group, has been identified as the telephone bidder said to have edged out the J. Paul Getty Museum in an auction for Rubens’ recently discovered masterpiece “The Massacre of the Innocents.” It sold at a price of $76.2 million--the third-highest price ever paid for a painting and the highest for an Old Master.

The group’s flagship, the Toronto Globe and Mail, revealed that Thomson bought the piece for his father, Lord Thomson of Fleet, who had hankered after the painting.

And, according to the London newspaper the Guardian, he’s spending an additional $31,000 because he’s unhappy with the frame.

Paul Mitchell, an art historian and picture framer for Thomson, called the painting--a brutal depiction of Roman soldiers slaughtering newborn babies at the order of King Herod--the painterly equivalent of “a colossal Twentieth Century Fox film.” The present frame, made in the 18th or 19th century, was “too static,” he said. And “an improperly framed work is like an automobile running on three cylinders.”

The British art community hopes that the family, former owners of the London Times, might lend the painting to the National Gallery, where it could hang next to Rubens’ “Samson and Delilah.”

But Lord Thomson is negotiating to give some or all of his prolific art collection to the Art Gallery of Ontario.

POP/ROCK

Michael Embarking on an Olympian Task?

British pop singer George Michael is mulling over a request from the Athens Olympic Committee to write a theme song for the 2004 Games, a spokesman for the artist said Thursday.

The 39-year-old Michael’s Greek roots are apparent in his original name--Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou--though he was born in north London.

Michael has made headlines in the past few weeks as a result of his upcoming single “Shoot the Dog,” which targets British policies toward the Middle East. According to MTV.com, the video depicts President George W. Bush as an “idiot” and Prime Minister Tony Blair as his “lapdog.” It also shows Michael in bed with Blair’s wife, Cherie (“Cherie, baby ... stay with me tonight / Let’s have some fun while Tony’s stateside”).

Michael insists that the song has been taken out of context. It’s not an attack on America, he says, but a swipe at Blair’s refusal to discuss the issue of Iraq with the British populace.

QUICK TAKES

James L. Brooks, executive producer of “The Simpsons,” will make a cameo appearance on the show next season, along with stars such as Elvis Costello, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Tom Petty, Lenny Kravitz, Little Richard and Marisa Tomei, Variety reports.... The Los Angeles Master Chorale, under music director Grant Gershon, will play its first independent concert in New York City at the Riverside church on March 18. Previous performances had been with the Los Angeles Philharmonic....Highlights of Stephen Sondheim’s Kennedy Center salute will be presented for one night only in an Oct. 21 benefit concert at Lincoln Center’s Avery Fisher Hall in Manhattan. Sondheim alumni such as Barbara Cook and Mandy Patinkin will join other performers who were featured in the Washington, D.C., run.... MTV’s new reality series on rap impresario Sean “Puffy” Combs, “Making the Band II,” will follow a group of wannabes, going from the audition phase to full-fledged recording artists under his tutelage.... Producers Ridley and Tony Scott will turn out a three-hour CBS movie based on Curt Gentry’s book “J. Edgar Hoover: the Man and the Secrets.” ... Former “Dynasty” diva Joan Collins is joining the cast of the CBS soap “The Guiding Light,” playing a “master manipulator,” for at least six months starting in late August.