LAUGH LINES

It’s a Tall Order: “Researchers in England say tall men are more likely to have more children than short men. See, in America, we call that ‘The NBA Theory.’ ” (Jay Leno)

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Dismal Statistic: “One in every 32 adults in this country is in jail or on probation. And that’s just clergy.” (David Letterman)

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Adventures on the Road: “According to a new study, a record number of babies are being born in cars on L.A. freeways. The traffic is so bad that women cannot reach the hospital in time, so they have their baby right there on the freeway.... This is the only place in the world where you can conceive in the back seat, have the baby in the passenger seat and die of old age in the traffic in the driver’s seat. It’s the cycle of life.” (Leno)