Gay, Lesbian Wedding Expo Honors ‘We Do’

Mark Aguilar and Miguel Rodriguez drove four hours from the San Joaquin Valley to West Hollywood on Sunday to plan their wedding.

The gay couple found pretty much everything they needed at the first annual Gay and Lesbian Wedding Expo in the ballroom of the Wyndham Bel Age hotel. There were booths manned by vendors offering all the usual wedding provisions -- tuxedos, catering, flowers, DJs, photographers, travel agents and even financial planners.

If the name of the event was unusual, many of the more than 1,000 who attended said the unofficial theme of the day was universal -- a wedding is a wedding even when there are two brides or two grooms and it won’t be legally recognized.

“I think most people think of gay people as promiscuous and that’s not true of us and I don’t think it’s true of most of the population,” said Aguilar, 36. “Everyone’s looking for their other half whether they want to admit it or not.”

Aguilar and Rodriguez plan to tie the knot in Vermont in the spring of 2004 with about 10 family members present. They’ve chosen Vermont because they want the ceremony to be in the only state in the nation that recognizes gay marriages, although they know that their marriage will carry no legal weight outside Vermont.

Although efforts to make gay marriages in California legal have failed, the number of gay weddings and commitment ceremonies seems to be on the rise, said many people at the event.

Whereas in the past such ceremonies tended to be small, private affairs that often took place in the home of a friend, an increasing number of gays and lesbians now want a ceremony in a public venue with friends and family to celebrate a commitment to a life partner.

“Little kids that become gay are raised with the same image of what a wedding is supposed to be as straight people,” said Amy Dickens, a nondenominational minister who works for a company named Minister Deb that specializes in providing officiators for gay weddings.

“I think so many people who are gay feel like they’ve been on the outside of society for so long because they’re made to feel that God doesn’t sanction your love for someone else,” Dickens said. “I think these weddings do a lot to heal some of that spiritual wounding.”

At one booth, Kristin Andry, 27, tried on a traditional veil as her partner Lynnae Brady, 33, watched. The couple, who live in the San Fernando Valley, will be married in May at the Redondo Beach Library and are inviting 120 family members and friends.

In a sign they hope indicates that times are changing, they had few problems in planning their big day. Unlike some gay couples, they were not turned away by any bridal shops or other businesses.

“We want to be able to stand up and say this is who we are,” Brady said. “We love each other. We want people to see how serious we are.”