Motorist Runs Smack Into a Painful Reminder of the Rules of the Road

In the Unclear-on-the-Concept category, a Westside motorist was recently cited for driving under the influence after colliding with an unoccupied Sheriff’s Department vehicle. The latter was being used as a “display vehicle,” meaning it was parked along the side of the road to encourage drivers to obey the road rules.

Unreal estate: Today’s showings (see accompanying) include:

* A sizzling property, even though it might be a bit primitive (Lauretta Lee of La Habra)

* A house that sounds “neat” enough for barnyard animals (Eileen Granfors)

* A home alleged to have a great carpet in spite of the critters who used to live there (Robert Hudson of Perris)

* And a kitchen set with a jar evidently intended for petty thieves (Carol Cooperman of Fountain Valley)

Wrong type of exposure: The always action-packed City Talk newsletter of Paramount recounted how an L.A. County sheriff’s deputy confronted a man who was relieving himself in public. The deputy found a dagger in the man’s clothing and arrested him for possessing a concealed weapon.

“If the suspect had just kept everything concealed,” City Talk observed, “none of this would have happened.”

Graduation daze: I mentioned an unconfirmed story about Bob Hope telling a graduating class, “As you prepare to leave these hallowed halls of learning ... I have just two words of advice: Don’t go!” Well, Chuck Harley was one of the departing seniors who heard Hope utter those lines in 1962 at Georgetown University.

Hope’s son, Tony, also was graduating. The comedian commented that he was happy that someone in his family would be able to read the honorary degree he was receiving (it was in Latin).

I was reminded about a line Henry Ford II used when he was invited to speak at Yale.

Ford, who had been thrown out of Yale years earlier for having someone write one of his term papers, held up his speech and said with a grin: “I didn’t write this one either.”

Hmmmmm ... : John Edwards of Long Beach spotted a motorcycle-for-sale ad in which the owner said the bike was in “excellent condition.” But Edwards wondered why, if it was in such great shape, the owner would add that he was selling it “as is.”

miscelLAny: If all this talk about L.A. getting a pro football franchise doesn’t excite you, remember that it would give you a chance to boo the two teams that deserted this region.

Robin Mitchell spotted a driver on the San Diego Freeway who’s still smarting. His license plate said: XRAMFAN.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.