Absent-Minded Motorist Drives Off but Returns to Find Lucrative Road Kill
I’m still hearing about driving-away “oops!” mishaps, like that of the Westsider who confessed that he had left his checkbook, some letters and an envelope containing $700 in hundred-dollar bills on his car roof before starting out for home.
Incredibly, he returned and found the stuff in the middle of Santa Monica Boulevard, including the envelope of money, “which had a prominent tire tread mark on it.”
He also asked that his name not be used because, he said, “I am a member of a respected profession.”
Guess he’s not a lawyer.
But I’m just leading up to this item: I should have realized that someone would parody the above type of absent-mindedness. Randy Bergum of Fullerton writes:
“My friend Andy and I discovered that you could place a large magnet in the bottom of the large Del Taco cups and, by adding a lid and straw, place a realistic looking decoy on the roof of the car.
“We drove around for hours laughing at all the people who frantically gestured and waved at us, wrongly thinking that we had no idea of the impending cola explosion.”
Bergum added: “After many months of fun, we retired the magnet. And then Del Taco redesigned the cup, ending our fun.”
Another form of “oops!”: Today I present my first pavement-sign humor competition, six-letters-or-less category (see photos). The winners spell confusion.
Westwood wait: Dale Cooper of West L.A. noticed that on Jan. 1, the campus store at UCLA began offering a discount on school-logo clothing to any fan who brings a ticket stub from a basketball game won by the Bruins. Talk about a safe gamble. The Bruin men lost the first six games of the year at home.
Your turn to laugh, UCLAns: A while back, I asked my son, then age 9, if he’d like to attend USC, just like his old man did.
He paused and said, “I might. Is it a high school or a college?”
miscelLAny: I can’t let the L.A. Marathon pass without commenting that one of the prizes offered -- a $25,000 car -- was not in the spirit of the event.
The marathon is about people who can travel long distances on their feet, not in a gas guzzler.
How about 250 new pairs of running shoes instead? Or 12,500 bottles of water? Better yet, how about a credit of $25,000 for surgical operations on bad knees, etc.?
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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.