It Seems That Not All of Malibu’s Residents Were Ready for Their Close-Up

OK, Malibu, you can stop posing. The photo’s been taken.

A company called Vexcel recently finished shooting and putting together a 20-square-mile aerial photo of Malibu for the city.

Vexcel rep Joe Grutzik had to overcome some fears on the part of officials before the project was approved.

Grutzik said one City Council member cracked a joke about needing time to warn the citizens to take their pot plants inside.

Another expressed fear of being snapped naked in the backyard. Grutzik said he responded that the resolution of the photo wouldn’t be that good. If, he added, “you were naked on a Barcalounger and I was naked on a Barcalounger, you couldn’t tell the difference.”

Grutzik said one interesting detail was noticed in the final product, however: a person who appeared to be setting a brush fire. A truck is parked nearby. The company plans to furnish more information to the city.

Good thing Vexcel’s aerial crew didn’t happen to be photographing that day in 1985 when Madonna and Sean Penn were married in Malibu. To discourage overhead paparazzi, someone in the wedding party scrawled an obscene message in 6-foot high letters on the adjacent beach.

I beg your pardon! Sarah Lifton noticed a label on a toilet and wonders which “occupant” it refers to.

I think, therefore I clam: For the mental health section of this column (see accompanying), writer A. Ross of Marina del Rey spotted some relaxation tips for chowderheads.

Stanley Hayden, meanwhile, found a cell phone that will give users a piece of its mind.

(Hey, maybe it will tell people not to phone and drive at the same time.)

And Charley Sappington saw an ad for a product that claims to be able to find a military thinker.

Is it something in the water? Party animal Larry Eustachy of Iowa State is the third basketball coach with Southern California connections to exit his job under unusual circumstances this year.

Eustachy, who resigned after the publication of photos of him kissing young women and drinking at an after-hours party, is a graduate of Cal State Long Beach.

Also gone are two ex-Pepperdine coaches, Jim Harrick, who left the University of Georgia amid accusations of academic irregularities on his team, and Jan van Breda Kolff, who was fired by St. Bonaventure after his players boycotted two games to protest the forfeiture of other games.

MiscelLAny: The Coastline Pilot said Laguna Beach police “received three calls at around 3 a.m. reporting shots fired.... One caller reported seeing two naked clowns with blue hair in the street.”

Of course, 3 a.m. is just an hour after saloons close. I checked with a police spokesman, and he said there was no evidence of shots being fired and, he was pretty sure, no naked clowns with blue hair running around either.

I just hope there were no basketball coaches in the area.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.