Advertisement

From the Wurst to the Winner, Waddling Wieners Well Worth Watching

With their short legs, dachshunds aren’t exactly known for their speed. But don’t tell that to Gorgeous George, one of the competitors in the 50-yard Wienerschnitzel Wiener Nationals at Los Alamitos Race Course.

“I like to chase things -- just ask my mom,” G.G. was quoted as saying on his entry blank. “I brought three live baby possums home a week ago. She screamed.”

Of course, not all the wieners have spotless resumes.

“My Dad tells Ozzie, ‘If you pee on my carpet again, I’ll let you play on the freeway,’ ” wrote the pooch’s handler. “Ozzie just peed again, so that’s why we entered him. He can win some money and get Dad off his back.”

Advertisement

The May 31 charity event concludes with a championship gallop worth $1,000 to the winner’s family.

For a repeat entrant named Peck, the race is a chance for redemption.

“I was 6th last year and my life spun in a downward cycle,” stated Peck’s entry form. “I was so embarrassed that I turned to table scraps and high calorie treats.” Peck has turned his life around and wants to be an example to others. No whiner, this wiener.

Speaking of horizontal creatures: Fred Rothell of Torrance said of a wildlife warning in Rancho Palos Verdes that he’s willing to call the varmint “Mr. Rattlesnake,” if that’s what it takes (see photo).

Advertisement

Unclear on the concept: Jim Lee of Buena Park couldn’t help but notice the irony of the name on a stalled truck (see photo).

Follow these simple directions: Kathy Steward noticed that the address instructions on a Department of Water and Power form were all wet (see accompanying).

You think the Dodgers’ hitters stink ... : The Coastline Pilot said that Laguna Beach High alerted police that a skunk was caught in a net on the baseball diamond.

Someone who really needs to catch up on his reading: The Huntington Beach Wave reported that a burglar broke into a car and took a briefcase, keys -- and a Bible.

Advertisement

MiscelLAny: A while back, Judie Cogan of Winnetka alerted me to a New Zealand attraction, “Hundertwasser’s World Famous Toilets.” In case you’ve forgotten (and I can’t believe you have), it’s a public restroom that was refurbished by artist Frederick Hundertwasser.

Anyway, a reader phoned to say that it was appropriate that Hundertwasser did the work. In German, his name translates as: “Hundred Waters.” Hey, a wiener named Ozzie would get a kick out of that.

*

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@ latimes.com.

Advertisement


Advertisement