Curbing Campus Illiteracy, One Missed Spelling at a Time

John Richardson Jr. saw a misspelled curb designation at UCLA that made him wonder if it was part of the new governor’s budget-cutting plan -- “We save paint by skipping letters” (see photo).

Thanksgiving traditionals: Just to get you in the mood for today’s festivities, I unearthed two of my favorite sentiments -- an offer of a long-cooling turkey submitted by Gerald Van Vleet and a gobbler of a house spotted by Jean Dunbar (see accompanying).

Wrong stand-in? As you may have read, honorary Hollywood mayor Johnny Grant announced that Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is a bit too busy to act as grand marshal of Sunday’s Hollywood Christmas Parade. So Grant said he’d handle the job himself.

Now I’ve always liked Johnny. Why, only last year I defended him against a scurrilous charge that he lived in the Valley (actually, he calls the Roosevelt Hotel home).

But frankly, I think he could have come up with a bit more star power.

I can’t help thinking that if the current governor was unavailable, Grant should have asked his predecessor, who is, after all, white-thatched like Santa and has lots of time on his hands.

The rues de L.A.: As a guide to memorizing the order of downtown streets, I published this ancient ditty: “From Main we Spring to Broadway over the Hill to Olive. Wouldn’t it be Grand if we could Hope to pick a Flower on Figueroa?” Well, Marcia Pflug of West L.A. says that was just the condensed version. The poem should incorporate one more street and begin with the words: “In Los Angeles ... “ At least that’s how her fourth-grade teacher, Miss Tomasovich, taught her at Virginia Road School in 1937.

Slamming into reverse: But Charles Piccaro of Manhattan says I have it all backward. His version: “On Figueroa, pick a Flower, then Hope it’s a Grand Olive Hill so when you hit Broadway you can Spring into the Main part of Los Angeles before you climb the Wall at Soto.” Piccaro’s variation seems more up to date, presenting a fast-paced image of L.A. -- a flower thief running from the cops.

MiscelLAny: This is an appropriate time of the year to say thanks for sending me all your weird snapshots, stupid criminal tricks findings, “Duh!” items, such-a-deal offers, and oddball menu items, not to mention the X-rated stuff I can’t publish (but enjoy reading!). Have a good turkey day.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.