Finding the Christmas Spirit Where You Least Expect It -- and It’s Portable

“Just when you thought you’d seen everything,” wrote John Lew, enclosing a shot of a porta-potty that’s got the Christmas spirit (see photo). Hey, at least they didn’t have Santa going in through the roof.

Unclear on the concept: Charles Freericks saw a swimming pool that went outside without permission (see photo).

Sour note? Kim Airs of L.A. found a job listing for someone who may or may not be sick of hip-hop (see accompanying).

Unreal estate: In Pacific Palisades, meanwhile, one agent is peddling a mansion with what appears to be an unstable bedroom (see accompanying).

It could be worse: The invasion of California by armies of ants, detailed in these pages by Eric Bailey the other day, couldn’t help but remind me of the 1954 sci-fi flick “Them!” In that yarn, nuclear tests in New Mexico cause mutations that turn the insects into giant creatures -- though, oddly enough, they lumber about more than you would expect ants to.

Anyway, the big freaks descend on L.A., causing all sorts of destruction and prompting such announcements as this from a military official: “All trains as far south as Long Beach are covered by either a bazooka team or flame-throwers.” Can’t recall, but I think the bazookas were filled with Windex. By the way, guess where the ants gather, obviously desiring a dry habitat? In the L.A. River, of course.

*

Everything is a learning experience: My 11-year-old son and some of his classmates were treated to a limo ride to a restaurant for a free lunch as a reward for their fundraising efforts. The limo had a television, so I asked him what they watched. “ ‘Divorce Court,’ ” he responded.

Off road: Watching the USC-UCLA game over the weekend, I saw a fan hold up a license plate that proclaimed “USC SYCO.” Guess I’d rather see a plate that said “SYCO” in a football arena than on a freeway.

miscelLAny: If you want to be the perfect L.A. host this holiday season, here are some locally inspired mixed drinks on a bartending website:

* Santa Monica Pier (Alize & triple sec)

* Los Angeles Cocktail (blended whiskey, sweet vermouth, lemon, powdered sugar, egg)

I’d also give you Sex on the Beach, but the weather’s not right for it.