After 26 Miles, How’s the Goat Cheese and Dried Tomato?

The L.A. Marathon (March 7) is trudging closer, so naturally I got a letter from the Coat Man.

That’s Dennis Marsella of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., who says he has completed 93 marathons, including 17 in L.A., while clad in a denim coat, tie, wingtip dress shoes and striped socks (with a few variations).

Oh yes, he also carries a pizza box topped by a water bottle (see photo). His delivery time is around 4 hours and 50 minutes.

Marsella claims the title of “longest-standing costumed stunt marathon runner in America,” having outlasted such competitors as Perrier Man (who carried a water bottle on a tray), Pancake Man (who hefted a skillet with a rubber pancake) and Juggling Man (who kept three balls in the air).

Marsella, a security guard who majored in psychology in college, likes L.A. because it presents an extra challenge: smog.

In one race out here, he recently told the Bergen County (N.J.) Record, the air was so bad that he blacked out on the 22nd mile. “I took a knee,” he said. “I was like a fighter. I got up and I rallied.” I’d hate to see Coat Man throw in the towel.

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Food for thought: Phil Proctor of Beverly Hills sent me a restaurant receipt that had a surprise ending, including a refund (see accompanying). So there was a problem with the corned beef hash?

“Yes, the eggs were either too runny or too hard and the hash too soft or too crispy -- kinda like me,” Proctor said.

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Dead Letter Dept.: Phyllis Rose Eisenberg of Van Nuys shared an L.A. Superior Court announcement that used language, she noted, that was less than superior (see accompanying).

In case you’re confused, the court is saying that if you have passed away, you needn’t read the notice carefully (since you’re in a different jurisdiction).

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On a less somber note: To celebrate Mardi Gras, I pulled out an ad from a couple of years ago that mentioned a different kind of observance (see accompanying).

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Pullet Surprises: Continuing our discussion of written bloopers, Dr. Sherwin Olken of West L.A. shared some he has come across:

* Very close veins (varicose veins).

* Fireballs of the uterus (fibroids of the uterus).

* Spinal mighty Jesus (spinal meningitis).

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Mondegreen time: In the misheard lyric category, readers recalled these immortal lines:

* “My son, when very young, was heard singing ‘One ton of metal’ to the melody of ‘Guantanamera.’ ” (Charles Kaplan)

* “When I was teaching seventh-grade science, one of my students thought the title of Maria Muldaur’s popular song was ‘Midnight After You’re Wasted’ (not ‘Midnight at the Oasis’).” (John Nichols)

* Jimi Hendrix’s “Excuse me while I kiss the sky” has been mistaken for “Excuse me while I kiss this guy.” (Sherry Gottlieb, Gary Posner and others)

* And Ginny King was “reminded of the little kindergarten girl whose earnest prayer included ‘and give us this day our jelly bread.’ ”

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miscelLAny: George Ehrnman of Alta Loma saw an article in the Press-Enterprise about a woman who fired nine shots to subdue a burglar. She said she tried to avoid hitting her furniture.

“Priorities, right?” she said.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.