Teens Learn Harsh Realities of Parenthood From Their Peers

To Mayra Lopez, it seems like a lifetime ago when she was debating which of two college scholarships to choose and when her biggest worry was how to ensure victory for her high school basketball team.

Now, at 19, she’s more concerned about how she can afford diapers, rent and medical care for the son she bore as a high school senior. Soon after his birth, she dropped her dreams of college to clean houses.

Despite the problems Lopez faces, she takes time to make presentations to high school students as part of Teen Voices, Teen Choices, a program offered by the Orange County Child Abuse Prevention Center in which peers talk about the realities of being a teenage parent.

This year, the program received $15,000 from the Times Holiday Fund, which raises money for nonprofit agencies in Ventura, Los Angeles, Orange, Riverside and San Bernardino counties.

“You just can’t teach teens about parenting,” said Kathy McCarrell, executive director of the prevention center. “So we asked teen mothers what we could do, and they told us, ‘You have to do something that is not with adults talking to us.’ So we have 25 teen mothers and fathers who tell teens about their experience.”

The 8-year-old program organizes 200 presentations to 4,000 students each year using Lopez and other teen mothers who are provided with child care so they can participate.

Lopez spoke at a recent presentation at Santiago Creek School in Santa Ana, an alternative public school for students who have had behavioral or academic problems in their neighborhood high schools.

Choking back tears, she told the students that her son’s father “has never even bought a pair of shoes or socks” for the boy, while she has faced rejection from family and friends and gained 20 pounds and numerous stretch marks.

An 18-year-old named Nicole, who became pregnant at 15, described morning sickness, her 20 hours of labor and the odd looks from friends who later saw her breast-feed.

Iris Garcia, 17, who also became pregnant at 15, lamented how she had lost her teenage years and the dream of a new car only to struggle to pay for diapers.

Daisy Espinoza, 19, told the students how she lived in a car during her pregnancy.

“This is the reality,” said Santiago teacher Cyndie Borcoman. “It’s an important message because our children here do not face realities unless their peer group tells them. They think a baby will give them something they do not have, when a baby is actually a lot of responsibility.”

Borcoman said that of the school’s 70 students last year, seven girls became pregnant and at least three boys became fathers. Students are 14 to 18 years old.

On a recent weekday, the students listened intently to the stories of the four teenage moms, uncomfortable at the prospect of following in their footsteps.

The mothers told them to use contraceptives or wait to have sex.

“Sometimes, I just want to go far away to somewhere where I do not have to worry about buying Pampers and food,” said Garcia, who can afford to buy only one package of diapers at a time. “I wish I would have waited. I would have at least two packs of Pampers waiting.”

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HOW TO GIVE

The annual Holiday Campaign is part of the Los Angeles Times Family Fund, a fund of the McCormick Tribune Foundation, which this year will match the first $800,000 raised at 50 cents on the dollar.

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