Wars That Go Pop and Fizz
For all Americans’ talk about being a peace-loving people, we surely do seem to love war words, notably on days like the Fourth of July, a holiday associated with war. War is a short word in English not requiring acronym or abbrev. It evolved from the German werra, meaning strife or confusion. War is hell, to be sure, but it proved a nifty invention for writers of cramped headlines.
As one result, war these days seems everywhere, beyond wars against terrorists, insurgents and the guerre des mots between the French and some Americans. We have Star Wars of both the galactic epic and the catty celebrity kind. There are year-round car wars, autumn TV network wars, summertime movie wars, garden-variety weed wars and burger wars. Even salad wars erupt now that healthy food is in. Imagine baby carrots ruthlessly assaulting the radicchio.
Americans declare war on countless diseases, including cancer, and there are Cold Wars, the stuffy-nose kind and the extinct political one against the Soviet bloc. According to well-coiffed TV talkers, each NFL game is a war, especially in “the trenches.” Icy puck wars too. Companies have wars for power, sometimes downgraded to power struggles. And divorce battles. Ad wars. Water wars. PR wars. Alas, gas price wars are rare. But we’ve had wars against litter, noise, crime, bark beetles, wildfires, poverty, drugs, gangs and Internet spam, none notable for victory.
Thirsty Americans often overlook another war. A delicious one too: Fizz Wars, the unending battle among soft drinks that erupted soon after carbonation’s invention in 1886. Coca-Cola and Pepsi-Cola have warred for decades for the hearts and tongues of soft drink drinkers. Battlefront reports indicate Coke is inflicting heavy casualties in this struggle for billions of dollars, usually capturing around 40% of the U.S. soft drink market. Pepsi forces take one-third. Coke’s advances come from successful landings by Diet Coke, vanilla, lemon and lime Cokes and now C2, a low-carb Coke. Pepsi counterattacks with matching flavors.
Unbeknown to today’s holiday soft drinkers, they are also at war over what to call cold drinks. This bubbling battle pits people who say they drink “pop” against “soda” and “coke” drinkers. Cleverly studied by Cal Tech folks with time on their hands -- popvssoda.com -- this regional phenomenon found righteous “pop” drinkers battling heathens who call all carbonated drinks “soda” or “coke.”
“Soda” drinkers are largely confined to the Northeast, Southern California and stubborn pockets of resistance in Florida. Rebel “coke” guzzlers are trapped in the old Confederacy, original Coke’s birthplace. Drinkers of “pop,” which came from the sound of old-fashioned glass bottles briskly opened, dominate the largest swath from Ohio to Seattle. Call this stalemated conflict Word War I.