Sympathy Crafted by Hand

After Cpl. Jesus A. Gonzalez was buried, an elegant framed portrait of the fallen Marine, proudly wearing his white military uniform, arrived at the home of his grieving mother in Indio.

“I cried because I was looking at my son, and it was as if I had him alive in front of me,” Silvia Berrones said, recalling the moment she unwrapped the portrait of her 22-year-old son, who was killed at the start of the war in Iraq. “The emotion I felt -- I wanted to meet the person who made the painting to kiss his hands.”

That person is Carlos Jones, a 44-year-old Navy veteran and artist from Middleton, Ohio. He’s never met Berrones and never knew Gonzalez. But Jones has made it his mission to make portraits of every serviceman and woman killed in Iraq and Afghanistan -- 871 so far -- and to give them to their families.

The 23-by-26-inch portraits, enlargements of photographs transferred to canvas, feature the slain soldier, the American flag, a bald eagle and a poem by Jones titled “The Fallen.” So far, 270 of the portraits have arrived at the doors of grieving spouses and parents across the country.

Jones, who creates such digital portraits professionally, is not the only one who has taken it upon himself to honor the fallen through his craft. As the nation debates how to best honor the dead -- whether it’s appropriate, for example, to publish photographs of coffins -- at least eight groups of volunteers or individuals around the country are remembering the dead with the work of their hands, toiling around their kitchen tables or workshops. They are stitching quilts, building wooden flag cases, sewing blankets or creating other keepsakes for the families of the dead.

“I think it’s necessary to let the families know that we are aware that someone in their family has died for their country,” said Paul Stern, a West Virginia machinist who is hand-crafting triangular wooden cases so families can display the American flags that draped the coffins of the sons or daughters they lost.

Working from his shop in tiny Cameron, the Air Force veteran has made 89 cases and is making 33 more for families who have agreed to accept his gift.

Across the country, a couple of hundred quilters are stitching Marine Comfort Quilts for casualties from all the military branches.

Volunteers in different states make the squares and send them to a team leader, who assembles the squares into the final quilt. The quilt is then sent to the group’s coordinator in St. Louis -- Jan Lang, the mother of a Marine who survived the deadly battle in Nasiriyah during the invasion last year, -- who then ships them off to families of the slain.

So far, the group has delivered 164 of the colorful quilts -- and is working on dozens more -- which typically include the serviceman’s or woman’s name, branch and rank as well as personal messages from the volunteer quilters.

“We are forever in your debt,” reads one message on the quilt the group gave to Ginger Ford, sister of Cpl. Patrick Nixon, who was killed in the battle for Nasiriyah.

In Hudson, Fla., 20-year-old Jessica Porter coordinates dozens of quilters from around the country who are part of Operation Homefront Quilts. The group has delivered 280 quilts and just finished 100 more that soon will be shipped.

At the Aberdeen Proving Ground military base in Maryland, Elaine Valentin and other military wives have revived a tradition, started in World War I, with Operation Gold Star Flag. Families with relatives in the service displayed in their windows flags -- white fields with thick red borders and a blue star in the middle. If the serviceman was killed, the star was changed to gold. Valentin’s group has given 85 flags to the families of dead soldiers.

In Murrietta, Ga., Marleen Manley coordinates volunteers from around the country who make up Project Linus. The group has delivered 287 quilted, crocheted or knitted baby blankets for the children of fallen military men and women.

And in Wilmington, Ohio, factory worker Michael Earley is crafting commemorative knives. He calls them 17 Souls Knives -- one for each of the Marines who died in the Nov. 2, 2003, Chinook helicopter crash in Fallouja. The first one honors his own son, Sgt. Steven Daniel Conover.

Earley, who has long crafted custom knives as a part-time business, has finished nine so far, and when he completes the set, he plans to give them to the families of the other Marines who died.

The 12-inch knives have white handles, to symbolize heaven. Earley decided to honor the dead by using his “God-given talent” of hand-making knives, particularly because his son, who always encouraged Earley’s craft, died carrying one of the knives his father had made for him.

“It’s hard when I make these knives because of why I’m making them, but I know I have to,” said Earley, 41. “I had to stop a few times while I was making this knife and sit back and collect my tears. It’s part of my healing process.”

As the conflict lingers and the names of new soldiers are added to the tally of the dead, the artisans vow to keep crafting their gifts, knowing it may take years to complete their work.

“We are approaching 600 casualties but the project is going to go on for a lifetime,” Valentin said in early January. She has incorporated Operation Gold Star Flag into a nonprofit organization that will make the flags even after this conflict has ended.

“When I can’t do this anymore because my fingers aren’t working, then hopefully there will be another military wife who will pick up the reins and take off with it,” Valentin said.

Some of the groups have begun accepting donations from local businesses and individuals who want to aid the projects. For instance, in Virginia, a local business donates oak for Stern’s cases. And in Ohio, one person who donated money to Jones is Gary Wagonrod, the father of Marine Pfc. Christian Daniel Gurtner, Jones’ first portrait.

“We told Carlos after we got the portrait that we would help him in any way we could,” said Wagonrod. “We felt that once the other families saw their portraits, they would feel the same way about it as we did.”

The genesis of some of the projects dates to some of the first military casualties in the war on terrorism. Stern, a soft-spoken and religious man, was moved to make his first flag case when he heard a radio report about the death of Air Force Master Sgt. Evander E. Andrews, of Maine. Andrews, 36, was killed in Qatar in a heavy-equipment accident a few weeks after the attacks of Sept. 11.

Jones was moved to start making his photo montages when his home state of Ohio lost its first native son in the war with Iraq. Gurtner, of Ohio City, was just 19 when he died in battle April 2, 2003. “When you’re sitting on a couch and someone is fighting for our freedom, it makes you feel completely helpless,” Jones said. “When I gave the parents the portrait, it was overwhelming. They just loved it. With that response, I thought I’d try some more.”

In Indio, Berrones placed the portrait of Gonzalez in his old bedroom, where she built a memorial for him.

“The painting was so well done that it seemed that my son wanted to talk to me,” Berrones said.

In Santa Fe Springs, the parents of Spc. Paul Nakamura also placed his portrait on a shelf in his room. The 21-year-old Army paramedic was killed June 19 in Iskandariyah when his ambulance was hit by a grenade.

“It hurts me because I see him” in the portrait, said the soldier’s father, Paul Nakamura Sr. But “it’s a good kind of hurt when I see it.”

Each time the name of a slain soldier is made public, the good Samaritans look for their relatives through newspaper articles, military bases or the Internet.

Politely, some volunteers write or call to offer the gifts. Others deliver the items to military bases, which then pass them on to grieving families.

“As military wives, we never contact families,” said Valentin, 32, who coordinates the women making the Gold Star flags. “There’s a privacy issue.”

Some families, still in shock from the news of the deaths, meet the volunteers’ offers with cautiousness.

“At first I was concerned, someone trying to get recognized at our expense,” said Janet Egnor, widow of Army Chief Warrant Officer Jody Egnor, who was killed in an aircraft crash in the Philippines on Feb. 21, 2002.

In time, she accepted a flag case from Stern and a flag from Valentin’s group. Stern, she said, “came across as a very caring and loving individual who wanted to help us widows.”

The artisans and the soldiers’ families are increasingly coming in contact with each other through a website that is, in itself, a home-grown effort created to honor the dead.

It is called Fallenheroes memorial.com and was launched in March 2003 by Tim Rivera, a 23-year-old mailman from Georgia whose brother serves in the Air Force in Southeast Asia.

The site has become a place for the families and friends of slain military men and women to post messages recalling their loved ones and for the artisans to offer gifts to the families. Some gifts become centerpieces, like Berrones’ portrait of her son. Others are tucked away in special places.

In White House, Tenn., Ginger Ford keeps the red, white and blue quilt she received from Marine Comfort Quilts in a chest with mementos of her brother. The 21-year-old died with 17 other Marines from Charlie Company in Nasiriyah.

When she finds herself missing him, Ford wraps herself in the quilt and cries until the wee hours of the morning.

“It’s called a ‘comfort quilt,’ and that’s exactly what it is,” said Ford, 29. “It has so much love from so many different people who never even met my brother but still loved him.”

Such sentiments keep the volunteers going, and they cherish the letters and e-mails of thanks they receive.

“I have tons of pictures of Chris, but none of them offer the comfort that your portrait provides,” Betsy Coffin, wife of Army 1st Sgt. Chris Coffin, recently wrote Jones from her home in Kennebunk, Maine. “I have the portrait hanging on the central wall in the living room. When I find myself struggling, it’s where I always turn.”

The grieving families also appreciate the broader message that the gifts intend to convey -- a gesture of gratitude from all the American people.

“Your friends and family are there,” said Laurie Oaks, mother of Army Spc. Donald Oaks, 20, of Harborcreek, Penn., who was killed by friendly fire south of Baghdad on April 3, 2003. “But when you receive good deeds from people you don’t even know, it really upholds your belief in the American people, and it makes you feel like you’re not alone.”