Makeovers Remove Abuse Scars

A stabbing attack by a live-in boyfriend five years ago nearly killed Michelle Comeau and left her feeling as if she were the one being punished.

Nightmares of the attack haunt her sleep. She won’t wear V-neck sweaters on first dates because an 8 1/2-inch-long surgical scar runs from her chest to her collarbone. She still experiences a tingling sensation in the left pinkie and ring fingers he almost cut off.

“No one will ever look at him and know he tried to kill someone,” Comeau said. “Physically, I’m the one with the reminders.”

She has applied to a Connecticut plastic surgeon who is offering free services to help make those physical reminders disappear.

In increasing numbers, survivors of domestic abuse are taking a hard look at themselves and seizing on cosmetic surgery programs throughout the country that offer them another chance to heal physically while they work on repairing the emotional damage.

Comeau has applied to a doctor who is not involved in any of the national programs, but who believes nonetheless that survivors of domestic violence deserve the same attention as the men and women profiled on reality TV makeover shows.

Dr. Julian Henley, who practices in New Haven and New York City, posted applications on his website. About 10 women, including Comeau, have submitted photographs and their stories. Only one will be chosen.

Comeau’s three-year relationship with her boyfriend, Tjamel Hamlin, was on the verge of ending. They were in their New London apartment the morning of May 12, 1999, when she told him it was over. He exploded, stabbing her at least five times.

Doctors say she lost half of her blood.

Comeau said Hamlin stabbed her twice in the chest, puncturing her left lung and hitting an artery near her heart. Doctors were forced to open her chest to stop the bleeding, which left the surgical scar. She also has a 3 1/2-inch scar across her right jawline.

“I still catch people sometimes who will look or stare,” she said softly. “Depending on the person or where I am, I will decide if I want to tell my story.”

Hamlin, who pleaded guilty to first-degree assault, was sentenced in August 2000 to a 14-year prison term, to be suspended after eight years, said Kevin Kane, the New London county prosecutor. He is eligible for parole in February 2006.

A national program called Face to Face: The National Domestic Violence Project has helped 1,500 women since it was developed in 1994 by the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. More than 300 surgeons are participants.

After calling the program’s 800 number, survivors are screened to determine whether their injuries are a result of domestic violence and that they are out of the abusive relationship.

They are given the name of a local domestic violence shelter where they can meet with a counselor, who in turn contacts the program to set up a consultation with a local member surgeon.

“I can honestly say that some of the most gratified patients are the ones with the most minor things. It’s not always something major,” said Dr. Keith LaFerrier, president of the academy. “We can give them the ability to look in the mirror and feel liberated.”

If these patients were to pay for the services, the cost could range from a few hundred dollars for minor scar revision to as much as $10,000 for more-complicated procedures, such as rhinoplasty, said LaFerrier, who has a practice in Springfield, Mo., and has participated in the program for 10 years.

A psychologist who specializes in abuse issues but is not connected with Henley’s office or the Face to Face project said it was imperative that these programs involved counseling.

“If we were to only address the physical issues, then we’re not looking at the deeper issues of respect or safety,” said Barbara S. Bunk, who practices in Glastonbury. “It wouldn’t even be half the job if you did the surgery and didn’t really look internally.”

Carla Gibson, 25, a Face to Face patient, is hoping to throw away the scarves she wears daily to hide the scarring along her neck. It was exactly two years ago that her husband repeatedly slashed her throat with a kitchen knife while her two young children watched, Gibson said.

Gibson, who moved from Maryland to New York City shortly after the attack, has been receiving treatment from a surgeon since December. The scars are less noticeable now -- thinner, flatter and less discolored.

“From month to month, to see the progress ... it just gives me a lot of hope,” said Gibson, who works as a secretary for a mental health clinic. “The main thing is that I just feel ashamed when I see the scars. And I hate having to wear the scarves.”

Gibson’s former husband pleaded guilty in September to attempted second-degree murder and was given a 30-year sentence, to be suspended after 10 years, according to court documents. Dr. Lawrence Martin, a cosmetic plastic surgeon in Arlington Heights, Ill., recently performed work on a patient who was shot in the head, the bullet just missing her right eye and hitting her temple.

“She is fortunate to be alive,” he said.

The area was depressed and badly scarred, but Martin was able to fill it out with tissue from her upper arm.

The shot was fired by her enraged husband.

For Comeau, who has moved back home to Mystic to live with her family, the surgery is something she had always wanted, but could never afford. “I’m 30 years old. I’m single. I’d like to get married someday. I want to live my life,” she said.

She’s hoping Henley can erase some of the scarring along her jaw and maybe even fix some areas she’s never liked on her face, such as her ears and nose.

Henley’s offer is not limited to only repairing physical damage from abuse.

“Whatever I can do to make the woman feel better about herself, to improve her self-esteem, I want to do it,” he said.

Like the Face to Face program, Henley will select a woman who is no longer in an abusive relationship, one who is emotionally prepared to have the surgery. Counseling will be provided by a social worker from the Center for Women and Families of Eastern Fairfield County Inc.

The deadline for applications is May 30.