Butt Out, Brits

This month, Britain’s Guardian newspaper launched a letter-writing campaign to try to influence waffling voters in the American swing state of Ohio. About 14,000 Britons, including novelist John le Carre, requested the addresses of undecideds. Here are a few abridged responses from Yanks who heard about the transatlantic effort (www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,1329728,00.html).

Please be advised that I have forwarded this to the CIA and FBI. -- United States

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We don’t need weenie-spined Limeys meddling in our presidential election. If it wasn’t for America, you’d all be speaking German. -- United States

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Thank heavens! Feel free to respond to this e-mail with your advice. Please remember that I am merely an American. I have no culture or sense of history. I am barely literate, so please don’t use big, fancy words. -- Dayton, Ohio

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People will read these letters and say, “John le who? Never heard of him.” -- Ohio

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Perhaps there is something wrong with you. Perhaps it is your teeth. -- New York

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If you want to save the world, begin with your own worthless corner of it. -- Texas

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Right on! Just wanted to say thanks from California for your effort and concern. There are so many people here in the States that care about the impact America has on the rest of the world. Thank you so much for getting involved in our world. -- California